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Storage Wars Cast Members Ranked From Least To Most Successful

Coming onto the scene in December of 2010, A&E's original series "Storage Wars," featuring cash-heavy buyers in Southern California bidding on the contents of reclaimed storage units, became an unconventional hit. It set early ratings records, made minor celebrities of its cast, and eventually spawned several spinoffs. Like any so-called "reality" TV show, however, there's a certain amount of production staging involved – sadly, the cast are not all natural masters of the one-liner pun — to say nothing of the per episode appearance fee each regular personality receives as part of their contract.

The show is structured to highlight three auctions per episode and rarely deviates from that model, which inevitably means some units never make it onto the show and the audience has no way of knowing if the value of those unseen units winds up in the final tallies at the end of each episode. Additionally, the show's method of calculating who makes or loses money is based solely on the valuation provided by the bidders themselves or the appraisers visited for specialty pieces, compared against their winning bid. Audiences find this method suspect, to say the least, leading to the emergence of a popular meme asking for a show about the "Storage Wars" buyers selling their appraised items on "Pawn Stars."

Nevertheless, we scrutinized all 14 seasons of the OG series and determined — based solely on what "Storage Wars" allows us to see — where each featured cast member ranks, from least to most successful.

25. Mark Balelo

When Mark Balelo showed up for the first time in Episode 6 of Season 2, auctioneer Dan Dotson identified him as someone who's frequented auctions in the past and likes to throw a lot of money around. That was an understatement. Balelo — or "Rico Suavé" as regular buyer Brandi Passante dubbed him — dropped $9,375 on five units that day, seemingly just because he wanted to prove he could. He got into bidding wars with three of the regular "Storage Wars" cast members, jumped bids by $500 or more at a time, and literally flashed his wad of cash. He was a polarizing figure on par with Dave Hester himself.

Unfortunately, producers didn't air any talking head interviews with him or follow the progress of his finds, so we have no idea if he made any money for his trouble. When featured more traditionally in future episodes, Balelo sadly lost more money than he spent. Through three seasons, he only appeared on eight episodes and was only shown valuing his auction buys in four of them. He lost $105, then $700, then $1,450. When he finally turned a profit in Season 4, the $1,560 he earned still left him with a $695 deficit overall. That was his last appearance on the show, and it aired two and a half months after Balelo, having endured several offscreen troubles, died by suicide in February 2013.

If you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline​ by dialing 988 or by calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255)​.

24. Ivy Calvin Jr.

Appearing frequently in later seasons with his father Ivy Calvin Sr., Junior and his brother Isaiah are mostly literally brought along to do the heavy lifting. They help sort through the units, pack up the trucks, and unload the goods back at the Calvins' thrift store, Grandma's Attic, in Palmdale, California. And they provide a lot of good-natured familial ribbing for our entertainment. It's one of the more wholesome and uplifting aspects of the show, actually — the strong family bonds featured between parents and children — showing them the ropes, teaching them the business, and equipping them with unique skills and knowledge to take into adulthood.

Occasionally, though, the kids start to think they know more than their more experienced parents. In the Season 13 episode "Fears of a Clown" Junior talks up his "young knowledge" over his dad's "old knowledge," prompting the senior Calvin to propose a bet. Whoever earns the most gets his locker loaded by the loser. Ivy Sr. made $707 on his unit, while "Pops," as Ivy Jr. is sometimes called, only netted $47. That was the only featured purchase for him so far in the series, too — or, at least the only one he paid for and got to keep the profit from himself — so it seems like Junior still has some learning to do from his dad.

23. Mavrick Von Haug

Even though he only showed up in a couple episodes from Seasons 7 and 8, which together spanned 2015, Mavrick Von Haug made an impression. Say what you will, but it's hard to forget someone who's had the entire left side of their face tattooed.

His first appearance in the Season 7 episode "What Cowboy Dreams May Come" garnered little in the way of profit — he scrounged up an extra $50 in value for the items going on his store shelves — but generated a lot of notice from the likes of series regulars Ivy Calvin and Dave Hester. That notice, plus the visit to his shop near the end of the episode and the introduction of his wife Gwen (also, Gwen's chest tattoo of his name) in the show's epilogue made it seem like Von Haug might be around for a while, but that wasn't the case.

He scored a tidy sum of $585 in the middle third of Season 8 with a spiral wheel to help pan for gold, then was never seen again. Luckily, he and Gwen are both fitness experts, athletes, and champion bodybuilders, because $635 made off storage finds isn't going to pay the bills. Although, Von Haug's problems extend beyond mediocre luck in "Storage Wars." In fall of 2022, he was arrested and charged with suspicion of manufacturing assault weapons. 

22. The Harris Brothers

Mark and Matt Harris are identical twins and native Angelinos who own a celebrity VIP gift bag creation and branding business, an entrepreneurial venture that could only exist in Southern California. They first appeared on the show as expert appraisers of Hollywood memorabilia in the Season 3 episode "May the Vaults be with You" in 2012. Come March of 2013, however, they showed up as buyers on the episode "The Kook, the Chief, his Son, and the Brothers," dubbing themselves the "Kings of Swag" in misguided defiance of the hard and fast rule to never give yourself a nickname.

The nattily dressed pair wound up buying a visually unappealing unit for the rock-bottom price of $45 and turned it into $885 when, in addition to its other few worthwhile items, the brothers found an antique olive press. In addition, their semi-clueless sibling banter-slash-bickering provided a lot of comic relief. Sadly, although they appeared in five more episodes over the course of the fourth season looking snazzy and working on their bidding gimmick, they were never shown acquiring another locker and quietly fell away from the broadcast.

21. Artie and Shannon

Very little is known of Artie and Shannon of Season 8 — not even Artie's last name. They first appeared midway through Season 8 in the episode "An Auction too Far," in which a disappointing trip to a Santa Ana storage facility is followed up by a barely improved visit to one in Hawaiian Gardens. Shannon appeared in a couple talking head interviews and was identified as Shannon Dahlmeier, but when Artie showed up in his own talking head spot, his surname was not provided.

The couple who in conversation with auctioneer Dan Dotson revealed that they have been dating long term but live in separate cities, managed to snag the one clean, uncluttered locker for a total of $500. The cache of prop items, stunt bricks, and breakaway cinder blocks inside netted them a profit of $980. They showed up again several episodes later in "Buys and Dolls," eking out a profit of $40 after losing a $500 coin flip.

20. Jenny Grumbles

Visiting her former "Storage Wars: Texas" cohort Mary Padian for the Season 12 premiere of the original California series, Jenny Grumbles didn't waste any time showing her keen eye for a promising locker. The two friends, both known for refurbishing and repurposing furniture, went in together on a storage unit in the Menifee, California, episode "The Jenny, the Baker, the Prosthetics Maker." They wound up purchasing a promising unit stuffed full of older items (their wheelhouse) for $700 and walked away sharing the proceeds of a $2,255 haul.

Sadly, it was Grumbles' only appearance on any of the 14 seasons of the original series, but her bubbly, sunny personality made it clear why she's such a favorite on the Texas spinoff, and her earnings of $1,127.50 in a single day make it clear she's a savvy businesswoman who knows her stuff. She can hold her own and make the big bucks.

19. Jarrod Schulz on his own

One half of the former power couple owners of the Now & Then Thrift Store in Orange, California, Jarrod Schulz and his longtime life partner Brandi Passante spent the first 12 seasons of "Storage Wars" winning and losing at auctions together. After filming for that 12th season wrapped, however, the two split up and briefly tried to make a go of it in Season 13 as single bidders. This didn't work out too well for Schulz, who seemed to be holding a bit of a grudge in the season premiere "Santanas Are Coming" and intended to bid against his ex no matter what.

In addition to the occasional side bet that transpired over prior seasons, Schulz bidding as a sole entity unto himself brought in a measly $1,335 across all seasons, with him only netting $60 in his final run through Season 13. His departure from the show left Passante to conquer on her own merits.

18. Nabila Haniss

Nabila Haniss' addition to the show in Season 2 was a breath of fresh air. The first season of "Storage Wars" had a lot going for it — most pertinently, a strong, positive audience response compared with very low production values. In layman's terms, the show generated a lot more cash than it cost to make. What the first season didn't have a lot of, however, was women. Aside from main cast member Brandi Passante and auctioneer Laura Dotson, the show was all dudes posturing to show off which one has the biggest wallet.

Haniss came in as a serious buyer without a serious ego and managed to make a respectable $1,560 over the course of her tenure on the show, encompassing four featured lockers purchased over the course of eight episodes across Season 2, 3, and 4. She was a capable buyer with a good eye and plenty of smiles to go around, but she was also a shark and could be polarizing since her only concern was the money to be made.

Before the advent of the show or Haniss' participation in it, she purchased a storage unit's contents for $2,775, realized the locker had belonged to famous face and heiress Paris Hilton, and sold it for $10 million to someone who then exposed the contents for profit. She was sued for her trouble, but the legal action didn't seem to slow her down. Despite not appearing on the show since the fourth season, she's still a regular at storage auctions and still dealing with the occasional legal snafu. She just keeps it off the air.

17. Brandon Sheets

A regular from the start, Brandon Sheets would accompany his dad Darrell to auctions all the way through "Storage Wars" Season 9. The two were a strong collaborative unit as father tutored son on the ins and outs of the business, important tips and tricks, and key knowledge of unlikely sources of value, while the son schooled his father on newer, younger trends, famous names in recent pop culture, and knowledge of various equipment from surfing to DJ.

He wasn't considered a separate buyer; rather, he was merely an accomplice to his father's shenanigans. There were a couple of instances, though, when Brandon spread his wings and bought a locker on his own. In the Season 3 episode, "The Ship Just Hit the Sand," Brandon bought a unit for $275 and earned a massive $3,410. Then in the Season 5 episode "The Gutfather," Brandon secures a locker with a winning bid of $700, spends an additional $375 to have his pool table professionally assembled, and earns a respectable $655 on the day. That brings his total to $4055 on just two lockers, and no doubt would've eventually been much higher had he and the show not parted ways under questionable circumstances after Season 9.

16. Herb Brown and Mike Karlinger

The start of Season 4 in 2013 was a heady year for the reality show hit. Divisive personality Dave Hester was off the show — temporarily, it turned out — amid conflicts with producers, and there was what felt like an obvious scramble to fill that empty regular spot with another big presence. Herb Brown and Mike Karlinger were not outsized figures like Hester, or even like the majority of the established cast, but they did provide some welcome levity.

The brothers-in-law made their first appearance in the third season's "Jurassic Bark" episode as the Tank Top Twins, then debuted their buying prowess on the episode "Nobody's Vault but Mine" in Chatsworth, California, where 100 vaults were up for grabs. They made $790 on that first successful buy. The two men subsequently appeared three more times that year, earning money each time, and finishing out Season 4 with $4,994 in cold, hard cash. After Season 4 ended, however, they never returned to the series.

15. Jeff Jarred

The owner of a thrift store in Burbank, Jeff Jarred showed up a handful of times during the third season of "Storage Wars" and then never again. Already a controversial figure among some of the cast before filming even started, Jarred's sour attitude — along with whatever invisible disability allowed him to obtain a disabled parking permit, inciting the ire of thousands of fans — immediately made him someone for the audience to root against.

As much as even "reality" TV loves a villain, even the disagreeable characters on "Storage Wars" are shown to be successful in a way that wins them fans. Dave Hester, Darrell Sheets, Rene Nezhoda, and Jarrod Schulz all had probably as many admirers as haters, but the audience response to Jeff Jarred was almost universally negative. Through no more than half a dozen appearances and the purchase of five total units featured on the show, Jarred earned a whopping $8,459, most of that in his very first win in "All's Fair in Storage and Wars." He just never earned a fan base.

14. Justin Bryant

Justin Bryant made a splash in Season 11. Looking to be about 15 years old and sporting what appears to be a fake Abraham Lincoln beard, it would be easy to mistake the young man for someone who knows very little and has nowhere near enough clout or buying power to make him a threat to the big boys. Bryant, however, suffers no fools.

He was actually 22 when he started filming the show in 2017, and while he was still the youngest bidder in the main cast, the beard was actually real. Moreover, he had a strong nose for hidden gems in lockers and knew how to bid, win, and make money. In fact, he made money every single time he bought a locker, save for his last one in the Season 12 episode "Let's Give 'Em Something to Tonka About." Although Bryant was only part of the main cast for two seasons, he came away with $8,800 for his trouble, and his stealthy, unintimidated demeanor and buying prowess make him someone audiences would love to see again.

13. Lisa DeLarios

When the spritely Mary Padian moved back to Texas soon after "Storage Wars" started filming its 13th season, the show was looking at a serious quirkiness deficit that needed to be filled back up. Luckily, Lisa DeLarios was on deck with enough warmth, joy, and quirkiness to potentially cover all of Southern California. She was open about her inexperience with the business and her naiveté towards the processes surrounding it, but always showed an eager willingness to learn.

The happy-go-lucky dog walker looks for vintage finds or items to rehab, mostly because it suits her aesthetic, but also because the big, overstuffed lockers are too much work for her to handle on her own. For these she sometimes enlists the help of fellow buyers Ivy Calvin or Kenny Crossley, who are generally happy to handle the loading and unloading of larger items in exchange for a share of the profits. DeLarios has made as much as $1,765 on a single unit — in "Another One Bites the Dusty" – and as little as $53 on another — in "You Can Lead a Horse to a Locker, but You Can't Make Him Bid" – but she's never had a loss. It might just be that her total earnings to date of $10,105.50 have come from savvy as well as charm.

12. Edwina Registre and Shana Dahan

"Vegas Ladies" Edwina Registre and Shana Dahan came on the scene in Season 11, imbuing the show with their youth, vitality, and joie de vivre, be it through brightly patterned outfits or their hilariously sassy attitudes. Friends since high school, the duo have always had an eye for vintage finds, taking to auctions on weekends and establishing the YouTube channel, "Thrifters Anonymous."

Buying their first locker on their very first appearance on the show — 2017's Season 11 premiere "The Wild Wild Vests," – the two started off on the right foot from the start, earning $1,055 on that unit. Throughout the next 44 episodes across the two seasons that spanned the time from late 2017 to early 2019, they were regular buyers and an even more regular presence. While they were never really big spenders or even really big winners (they achieved top buyer of the episode twice, but their largest haul was $2,055 with Season 12's "They Shoe Horses, Don't They"), they chalked up a lot more hits than misses. All in all, the pair earned a total of $11,735 during their tenure.

11. Dusty Riach

Dusty Riach likes to talk a lot of smack. This disheveled latecomer to the series (his first appearance came at the tail end of 2021) has a big mouth, but maybe an even bigger wallet. Given "Storage Wars" is not known for its shrinking violet personalities, one almost has to purposefully stir things up in order to be seen over the general din, and Riach does just that. At the end of every auction he bids on, win or lose, he has some taunting words for his opponent, either mocking them for overpaying or rubbing it in that he stole the unit right from under them.

His behavior feels incendiary and reckless, especially considering his willingness to keep upping the bid seemingly out of spite (usually for Calvin, but no one is immune). However, the dude knows what he's doing. He has a sharp eye for finding units with promise, and despite playing fast and loose with his spending, he has never once suffered a loss.

In fact, his first three episodes to feature winning bids found him sitting in the top earner spot as the end credits rolled. He only hit the top spot once after that, in "Two For the Price of Dust," but came in second in the episode "Lego My Locker" with a total take of $5,210. So far (assuming he comes back for Season 15, now filming) he's accumulated $17,552 from seven episodes featuring a purchase on his part. That amounts to earnings of over $2,500 per locker. Not even Dave Hester could find fault with that.

10. Brandi Passante on her own

Across the first 12 seasons of "Storage Wars," there was a friendly-ish rivalry between long-term life partners Jarrod Schulz and Brandi Passante as to who was the better bidder, the better buyer, and the better at their business. As so often happens, Schulz was characterized as a rogue risk-taker, or like it says in his former clothing line, an "outlaw." Passante, predictably, was often shown as his adversary, always bringing him down with her stodgy concerns about "budgets" and "sellability" and "planning." What a buzzkill, right? It didn't matter that Passante frequently showed her skills in the storage auction arena, or that she upped the budget considerably when it was needed and-slash-or was a good business decision, or even that she often took risks on lockers that sometimes paid off and sometimes didn't, as everyone must.

Up against Schulz, she was always portrayed as more responsible, which in TV speak means less fun. It's never fun being the responsible one. Hence, when Season 13 opens showing Passante driving to the Riverside, California venue with Mary Padian for "one last time before she moves back to Texas," Passante says, announcing that she and Schulz are no longer together, everything changes. Passante gets to be defined on her own terms from that point forward.

Granted, Schulz sort of blocks her from getting a locker that first time out, and she later revealed she was uncomfortable filming with him, but she soon got back in the game but good. With her solo Season 13 and 14 finds, plus the rare side bet she got to claim as her own in earlier seasons, Passante has accumulated earnings totaling $31,713 so far, all on her own. Sometimes it pays to be responsible.

9. Kenny Crossley

A friend of the incomparable Barry Weiss, Kenny Crossley became a viral vine sensation long before he ever bought a locker on "Storage Wars" for himself. That was in 2012, and while he showed up here and there in the following seasons, it wasn't until season 10 in 2017 that he became a buyer himself and a main member of the cast.

The show is all the better for it. Crossley is nothing short of a delight. Whether it's his spoonerisms, his malapropisms, his goofy attempts at innuendo, or just his sly grin with a side-eye to the camera, Crossley is comedy gold. He's also something of a Renaissance man, with a lot of different interests and a lot of different professions.

As far as his storage locker career goes, Crossley is doing pretty well. His unconventional strategies have slingshot him from profits of over $4,500 in a couple episodes ("Mutt-erial Girl" and "Out of the Frying Pan Am") to a loss of over $700 in another ("Spidey Cents"). Overall, that's boiled down to a net profit over four seasons of $38,847, plus his charming demeanor sometimes gets him a homemade dinner.

8. Mary Padian

Mary Padian, the spritely rehab darling of "Storage Wars: Texas," made the big move to California in 2014 and joined the parent series near the tail end of Season 5. Seven years and seven full seasons later, she moved back to the Lone Star State in 2021, but her time on "Storage Wars" will not soon be forgotten.

Diminutive, sunny, and a proud weirdo, Padian filled each episode with various tics and catchphrases in a way that always seemed organically goofy rather than orchestrated or gimmicky. She endured being looked over, literally and figuratively; she put up with the entire gamut of teasing to bullying from every single giant hulking man on the cast, and she had to navigate the admittedly very different culture of California from Texas, but she did it all with a smile and a shrug. At worst, she might have given an eyeroll, a double thumbs-down, and a raspberry. Mostly she giggled and fist-pumped her way through a lot of great finds, some inventive interior design, and only six losses over her entire run, racking up $62,808.

7. Barry Weiss

Dubbed "The Collector," Barry Weiss is just the kind of oddball, eccentric personality a show like "Storage Wars" needs. He seems to be independently wealthy or retired from a very successful former career, he owns (or at least shows up in) every manner of vintage collectible car imaginable, and since he's not interested in functional items that can be sold in a thrift store or at a swap meet, he's liable to bid on literally any locker for literally any amount. It's all up in the air.

That wild card nature also makes him endlessly watchable. So it was a huge disappointment when Weiss retired from the show after Season 4 and a celebrated event when he came back in Season 14, which aired through early 2022.

Ironically, Weiss' unpredictability results in the predictable outcome of some big swings in his finances. There are big wins — "Melee in the Maze" netted $11,725. There are significant losses — "Straight Into Compton: Biddaz with Attitude" cost him $1,995. And a lot of times, Weiss' own collector status kept him from earning money, because he would decide to keep his unique finds for himself. The old dog still knows a few tricks, though, and has earned $100,215.07, all told.

6. Ivy Calvin

Former linebacker Ivy Calvin debuted on "Storage Wars" in 2013 as a recurring bidder, then secured himself a spot on the main cast a year later at the onset of Season 5. Since then, the King of Palmdale has reigned over Grandma's Attic and amassed thousands upon thousands of fans, coming back year after year and season after season to slay the competition and make that money. Calvin is a perpetual favorite because of his trademark not-too-hard, not-too-soft personality, complete with a dash of kookiness and a healthy serving of wholesome dad. He can talk a little trash, and he can also be a fun guy to hang with.

Underneath all that winning charisma, though, is a serious businessman. He may be a little more risk-averse than some of the others, but that's not always a bad thing, as the number of episodes he walks away with a loss is far surpassed by the wins. (Calvin averages less than one loss per season.) In addition, his biggest payout for a single episode was $9,225 ("Granny Get Your Gun"), while his biggest loss was only $900 ("Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang, Rene"). Those are some impressive numbers, and they've all added up to a grand total of $184,761 over his 10 years on the show.

5. Jarrod Schulz and Brandi Passante together

It stands to reason that 12 seasons on the show as a not-quite-married couple with children would lead to some big numbers overall. Jarrod Schulz and Brandi Passante were also loved by fans because of their obvious chemistry and camaraderie that shone through even the most frustrated conflicts or passive-aggressive slights. The audience got to see them through the highs and lows of life, more than that of any of the other cast members, because they were a couple and had to navigate their personal lives and their business together. This dynamic lent itself to a greater perceived intimacy and closeness for the audience, who became invested in the couple.

Of course, the somewhat volatile nature of their relationship — be it organic or amplified for the benefit of the broadcast — could lead to some pretty reckless bidding. Schulz could be goaded into bidding wars against some of the other men just as easily as he could push his max bid higher and higher just to irritate Passante. Meanwhile, Passante could sometimes fall victim to those same impulses.

Their recklessness showed in their daily totals, which went as high as $14,450 ("Like a Kung Pao Cowboy") in the black to as low as $3,750 in the red ("Flight of the Gambler"). Nevertheless, their exploits landed them a total profit of $237,064 over 12 seasons, making them the fifth most successful members of the cast.

4. Rene Nezhoda

German native Rene Nezhoda (sometimes accompanied by his wife Casey; his good luck charm-slash-daughter Tatiana, or his insane rocker father Gunter) debuted on "Storage Wars" in the middle of Season 4, then made the main cast in Season 5. Since then, he's been provoking his competitors, inflating bids, posturing, talking smack, and delighting in random $500 coin flips, all in his nearly manic, giggly, high German accent. It's great TV, and Nezhoda knows it.

Nezhoda is a big character, physically, mentally, and socially. He likes to play big, bid big, and win big, and he often does. He once hit a payday of $73,500 in Ranchos Palos Verdes on the episode "All Bid and no Bite." He's never lost more than $1,330 in a single episode. Moreover, despite being on the show half a season less than Ivy Calvin, and a season and a half less than Brandi Passante and Jarrod Schulz's coupledom, at $337,360 he's earned more than each one of them individually. Love him or hate him, it's pretty impressive, and lands him in our number four spot.

3. Dave Hester

The most controversial man "Storage Wars" has ever produced, Dave Hester definitely seemed to earn his title of "The Mogul" in those early seasons. He was smart and cocky and had a really big bankroll to make up for his slightly smaller stature. More importantly, he had no problem whatsoever outpricing everyone else from buying lockers, especially if the contents were industrial in nature, because Hester was one of the few buyers with the means to unload that kind of product.

His signature "YUUUP" bidding call was enough to annoy even the most stoic of characters — of which "Storage Wars" has none — and he used it to his advantage, bulldozing his way to huge buys and huge wins. His biggest haul was in the Season 1 episode "Senior Center Showdown," when he walked away with $89,250. Of course, you live by the "yuuup," you die by the "yuuup." Hester once suffered a single episode loss of $5,500 in Season 3's appropriately titled "The YUUUP Stops Here."

The polarizing figure had a few conflicts with the show, however, mostly of his own making, and missed Season 4 as a result. He also didn't return for Seasons 13 or 14, so his profits no doubt would've been higher, but $400,375 earned across 11 seasons of television is nothing to sneeze at. That nearly $36,400 per season lands him at number three.

2. Dan and Laura Dotson, the Auctioneers

It's hard to say where three-season regular auctioneer Emily Wears would fall on this list, not knowing her rate or her business all that well. Nor can we determine how much is made by the occasional step-in auctioneer. The earnings of series regulars and primary auctioneers Dan and Laura Dotson, however, are far easier to extrapolate.

First, Laura mentions several times throughout the series that their commission is 20% of the winning bid. Now, the audience is not shown every locker sold at each auction, because the show is only structured to feature three, with rare exceptions. So when the cast is talking about 12 or 20 or 100 units up for grabs at a single auction, the audience is only going to see a tiny fraction of those, and almost exclusively only the ones won by "Storage Wars" bidders. Therefore, knowing our number will not be the complete picture, we can still calculate the commission earned on all the winning bids shown — an estimated $258,842.76.

If, conservatively, we double that number to account for all the auctions of units that are said to be sold on each episode even though the sale amounts themselves aren't revealed, it puts the bubbly and adorable married Dotsons well above Dave Hester's $400k, squarely in the number two slot. And even if we triple that number to allow for Dan and Laura being the owners and operators of American Auctioneers, and accounting for their gorgeous home in Yucaipa, California, among the San Bernardino mountains (seen in depth in "A Very Miraculous Storage Wars Christmas"), they still fall well short of our number one most successful member of the "Storage Wars" cast.

1. Darrell Sheets

There's an understanding that most casino games are based on luck, whereas poker is a game of skill. That's why professional poker players can claim their winnings as "earned income" rather than as gambling spoils. Darrell Sheets might be known on "Storage Wars" as "The Gambler," but his is a game of skill, through and through.

Sheets may seem like the most unlikely of power players, with his frequent malapropisms and his complete disregard for sleeves, but he's earned far and away the most money of anyone else on the show with a haul of $842,469. His road to the top began in earnest in the Season 3 episode "Portrait of the Gambler," when a trip to Montebello ended with Sheets scoring hundreds of original art works by Francisco Gutiérrez valued at $300,000.

Sheets proclaimed himself "King of Montebello" after that, and the city continued to pay off for him, bringing in a total of $385,550. That additional $85k on its own is more than almost every other city paid out in total across all the buyers combined, and in three of the five cities that do go over that $85,000 threshold, the amount would fall below if Sheets' own earnings were deducted from the total.

The man has nearly twice as many paydays over $10,000 (15) as he does losses of any amount (8), and at the end of 14 seasons is only half a Gutiérrez locker away from a cool million. That's not just luck, that's skill, and that's why Darrell Sheets is number one.

No premiere date has yet been announced for "Storage Wars" Season 15, but hopefully Sheets will be back in the fray to keep his status intact.