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The American Horror Story House Fans Want To Live In The Most

The long-awaited premiere of "American Horror Story: Double Feature" is nearly upon us, and in the weeks leading up to the 10th installment of the acclaimed horror series, the show's subreddit has been lighting up with looks back at seasons past. That is, of course, in between heated debates about the decidedly polarizing "American Horror Stories" episode, "Game Over," and the questionable choice to air an inconsistently successful spinoff just weeks before launching a full-length series sequel. The response to said spinoff notwithstanding, audiences are still happy to reminisce about "AHS" seasons and locations of yore, as evidenced by a recent poll on the subreddit that garnered over 2,600 responses so far. 

Just over two weeks ago, u/Titanzz251 posed a question that "AHS" fans have undoubtedly considered many times over the course of the series' decade-long run: "If you had to live in one of the following [haunted houses from the show] which one would it be?" The user later clarified that they meant "as a living human being," as opposed to a ghost, trapped there for all eternity. As it turns out, there's a definite favorite amongst "American Horror Story" fans, and for good reason. 

The Hotel Cortez' 'spirits' (wink, wink) make it most appealing to fans

Of the votes that were cast, a whopping 1,100 (over 40%) were for Season 5's decadent and deadly Hotel Cortez. As u/MonicaBe explained, "Dying in the Cortez is probably the closest I'll get to a [Lady] Gaga concert, so I'll go with that. Plus there's a bar." The handy access to a fully-stocked hotel bar wasn't lost on others, and more than a few fans felt that advantage alone might be worth it ("having a forever bar doesn't sound terrible," added u/dumbledoredali), but there's more to The Cortez than an abundance of booze, as others were quick to point out. Since James Patrick March (Evan Peters) ultimately forbade his fellow ghosts to engage in any further killing in the hotel in an effort to ensure it achieved historical landmark status, many felt it had the best odds of survival. Moreover, it seems that fans are most interested in hanging out with the Cortez's ghosts. 

"The Cortez has the most interesting people," wrote u/GarionOrb, a sentiment echoed by a number of Gaga and Liz Taylor (Denis O'Hare) fans. "Having Liz Taylor around as company for eternity would be a huge plus," noted u/dumbledoredali, and as u/Neurotic-MamaBear so succinctly put it, "Hotel. It was pretty glam and Liz." Other fans noted the appeal of the luscious decor and seductive personalities of The Cortez (plus, the free Wi-Fi, the bar, and, again, the Lady Gaga) as their reason for choosing the opulent location.

In a 2015 interview with Vogue, "AHS" co-creator Ryan Murphy's long-time set decorator Erin Brill spoke at length about some of her favorite aspects of the "Art Deco does Death" location: "I really love the lobby," she said. "It's just so grandiose and extravagant." Six years on, audiences are still enamored by that extravagance, but a lingering love for Season 1's "Murder House" (also by Brill) put it at a close second.

Fans still share an affinity for Murphy's Murder House

With over 900 votes, the Murder House gave Hotel Cortez a genuine run for its money. As the original poster noted, "I would pick murder house, as the ghosts seem to be much less 'murderous' than the others." Several other Redditors agreed, saying "Murder House...would have the highest chance of survival" (u/dumbledoredali), "Violet, Vivien, and Ben also don't want anybody dying in Murder House" (u/telekineticeleven011), and "I would get along with many of the ghosts there" (u/redditdreamer05). 

Regarding the choice of ghosts, at least one user asked about a key factor. "Are these places post chilled out ghosts, lol?" asked u/hypnos_surf, before adding that in that case, "Murder House, Hotel and Redwood ghosts actually want to be happy or help people." The relative volatility or indifference of a location's supernatural entities appears to have factored in heavily for many voters, while others based their choice on different motivations entirely. "Murder house for dylan mcdermott," u/j_notanonymous posted, while u/laughs_with_salad noted that "Matt [Bomer] and Zachary quinto are stuck in murder house and not really loyal to their partners anymore. So obviously I'm going there."

In keeping with "ghost crushes" as mitigating factors in choosing a haunted home, u/CaptainLevi2 wrote, "Hotel Cortez is the best option, but I picked Camp Redwood because I find Xavier hot," in reference to Cody Fern's character. Camp Redwood ultimately came in third with just under four hundred-and-fifty votes, partially because as many noted, it has the largest array of activities, what with it being a summer camp and all. As for the poll's least appealing long-term location, fans were split over the risk-benefit analysis of spending time at the Roanoke house. 

An important loophole in Roanoke makes it surprisingly appealing

Although the Roanoke house and its malevolent menagerie of terrifying spirits received its fair share of "NOPES" from fans, several users pointed to an important Roanoke rule that actually adds to its appeal. "Didn't the ghosts only appear during a certain time period each year?" asked u/TrumpSmokesMids27 — "Like couldn't you just plan a yearly vacation around the blood moon and be completely safe?" This idea was echoed and debated several times in the discussion, with u/notsoslootyman adding that "Roanoke is only dangerous during a blood moon so thats pretty easy to navigate. Sweeping up teeth would be annoying though." 

Fair enough. As several other fans reiterated, although the ghosts can only kill or cause physical harm during the blood moon, that hardly stops them from traumatizing the house's inhabitants all year round. What's more, there's also the horrifying and cannibalistic Polk family to deal with, as well as Lady Gaga's Scáthach, who, as u/UndeadBuggalo theorizes, "I'm pretty sure...can kill you anytime."  In a comment that managed to summarize much of the discussions' conclusions, u/Almzi wrote, "murder house if i wanted some found family and a night a year to leave. but cortez for the space, and entertainment purposes, and bar. Camp redwood for friends, fun activities and fresh air, and i'd never go to roanoke."

With "AHS: Double Feature" promising brand-new haunted hell mouths for fans to consider moving into, one wonders if Provincetown will be able to compete with Ryan Murphy's much-loved L.A. locations and their ghosts.