Strange Things About Eric And Donna's Relationship In That '70s Show
For many people, "That '70s Show" has served as a huge comfort. Like other sitcoms in the spirit of "Friends" or "How I Met Your Mother," this show gives fans a group of characters to feel like they were hanging out with through laughs, love, twists, and general chaos. What makes it particularly compelling, though, is the platonic and romantic relationships in the show.
The show itself was not without its faults, and with those came frustrating moments from beloved characters. These were particularly clear within romantic conflicts between the show's couples, like Jackie (Mila Kunis) and Kelso (Ashton Kutcher), Jackie and Hyde (Danny Masterson), or the show's most central couple, Eric (Topher Grace) and Donna (Laura Prepon).
Eric and Donna are a fan favorite and one of the most notable sitcom couples of their era, and they definitely had some great moments within their relationship. However, they had many flaws, tiffs, full-out fights, and breakups that definitely drew attention to the imperfect nature of their romance. Love them or hate them, Eric and Donna had some key struggles that put their relationship to the test more than once. Read on for some of the strange aspects of Eric and Donna's relationship on "That '70s Show."
They are weirdly incompatible
Off the bat, Eric and Donna are an unlikely pair. Other than the fact that they live in close proximity and exist within the same friend group, there aren't many similarities between the two. It makes sense, storyline wise, for the two to date; Jackie is obviously posed to be a side character to Donna's "main girl" energy, and Eric, being the show's focal point, needs a love interest for formula purposes. However, the two don't immediately make a ton of sense.
Eric is a lot more high-strung throughout the show. He is constantly overwhelmed and stressed; he's nervous about disappointing his parents, and generally more of a "goody two-shoes" type. Donna, on the other hand, is a lot more laid back and chill. She has more of a rebellious, tomboy style to her that leaves her unbothered by what other people think and she's always trying to get Eric to break out of his shell. However, this often results in Donna getting Eric into trouble with his parents, who are a lot less open-minded and relaxed than her mom and dad. Though they say opposites attract, Eric and Donna often seem too incompatible to complement each other.
Awkward conversations regarding masculinity
Being set in the '70s 'n all, "That '70s Show" is bound to have some sexism. At the time, feminism was a more controversial concept. As such, some of the storylines revolve around the men and their relationships with masculinity and "manliness." One part of that larger conversation directly relates to Eric and Donna, as Eric's sense of his own masculinity occasionally conflicts with Donna's relative tomboyishness.
From the start of the show, Eric is seen as nerdy and weak, and Donna is seen as stronger and braver than Eric in most every way. This tone is set right from the beginning of the show, where in one of the earliest episodes, Eric gets insecure due to Donna repeatedly beating him at games. In Season 1, Episode 4, Donna beats Eric at basketball, and the other guys ridicule him for it, calling him a "wuss." This puts Donna in a position where she has to debate whether she should sacrifice her integrity and lose on purpose to help Eric's ego, which is a really uncomfortable position for Eric to put her in. Similarly, Donna also teases Eric for losing to a girl, which isn't necessarily helpful.
Donna constantly undermines Eric
Part of being in a relationship means respecting your partner's needs and understanding what makes the most logical sense for them. People process emotions differently, react to situations differently, and have priorities that might not necessarily align with someone else's. This is true for Donna and Eric, who emotionally couldn't be more opposed, but could easily rectify that by communicating and understanding one another. Instead, Donna chooses to undermine many of Eric's quirks and requests and make him feel small.
Eric is a very quirky person. He likes order, organization, getting good grades, and just generally being a good influence. Donna, being the total opposite of this, finds Eric's habits or outlooks on certain things to be silly. Instead of feeling this way and being understanding about it, she makes fun of him at every turn. In Season 2, Episode 15, Jackie invites Donna, Eric, and the gang to a fancy dinner party. This episode in particular is a great example of Donna making fun of Eric no matter what he does. She starts the episode by telling him he needs to lighten up and not be so tightly wound, so at Jackie's dinner party he gets drunk and starts acting goofy, dancing, and singing to Donna. As a result, she gets mad at him. Either way, Eric can't win.
They have different ideas about sex
One ongoing theme for Eric and Donna throughout the show and their relationship comes from their differing perspectives on sex. Eric grows up in more of a sex-negative household where his parents actively do not want him to sleep with anyone and won't let him sleep over with Donna or condone any fooling around. To him, sex is more of a forbidden concept, and thus he wants to do it even more because, ultimately, he is just a horny teen who thinks having sex is what he should be doing.
Donna, on the other hand, grew up with parents who were a lot more sex-positive — or, at the very least, talked about sex more and were openly affectionate with one another. In Season 1, Episode 17, Jackie tells Donna that she thinks she might be pregnant, and though it is a false alarm, Donna still talks to her mom about going on the pill. Her mom is receptive and helps her get the medication. Donna views sex as something that happens when the time is right, but she is not going to force it and, more importantly, will be safe about it. This causes arguments between the couple as to whether or not they are ready to have sex, when they should do it, and how it looks to their friends that they aren't sleeping together as soon as society might expect.
They use each other
One of the biggest red flags in Eric and Donna's relationship is certainly the fact that while they both genuinely care about each other, they often use each other to get back at other people or for other selfish reasons.
For one, Donna uses Eric to get back at her parents during their divorce. In the first few seasons of the show, Donna's parents have a very tough relationship. They try and try again to make their marriage work, but ultimately their toxicity makes life more difficult for Donna. When this happens, Donna often seeks out Eric to fool around, get into trouble, or do something rebellious specifically to spite her parents. At times, Donna only seems interested in Eric when her parents are fighting. Eric even acknowledges that she does this, several times, and jokes about it with her. The whole scenario does not exactly spell a healthy relationship.
At the same time, though, Eric is not blameless. Eric also uses Donna in a lot of ways to impress his friends. Though he does genuinely care for her, too, he also likes to boast to his friends about having a girlfriend, the fact that they hook up, and other intimate details about their relationship. He almost uses her as a prop, which is really upsetting and misogynistic.
Both are plainly mean
All couples argue and have their tiffs. It is only natural for relationships, romantic or not, to have their ups and downs. However, there are many instances in "That '70s Show" where Eric and Donna are just plain mean to each other, and it doesn't always stem from an argument or even out of a reaction to something the other person said. There are many moments of unprompted mean behavior between the two of them, which calls the healthiness of their relationship into question.
One example of this stands out above all others: In Season 3, Episode 15, Donna, Eric, and the guys are playing basketball again and Eric is once again being a sore loser. However, instead of just talking about it behind her back or saying something mean to her, Eric and Donna get inappropriately competitive, and Eric cheats by pantsing Donna in the middle of the game. When her pants are down, Donna's undergarments reveal that she prefers white "granny panties" — meaning the underwear lacks sex appeal. The other guys start making fun of Donna's underwear right away. Instead of defending her, Eric backs up the guys. Donna is upset, and rightfully so. They eventually move past this, but obviously, here in the 2020s, the protagonist of a light-hearted TV sitcom won't pull their partner's pants down against their will — and definitely not in public — unless the writers are deliberately trying to get the show canceled. (In this case, we mean "canceled" in the literal as well as euphemistic sense.)
Eric wants to sleep with Donna's mom
Correct us if we are wrong, but there's an unspoken rule in romantic relationships that someone's partner should not be attracted to either of their parents. It seems like a simple ask — just do not lust after your partner's parents. Yet, for Eric Forman, that is too tough to handle. Eric openly makes jokes and comments about how attractive Donna's mom is. All the guys on the show do the same, but Eric is the true offender, seeing as how he is Donna's boyfriend.
There are many examples of Eric's attraction to Donna's mom, but arguably the most offensive is in Season 1, Episode 21. Eric and Donna are hanging out and Donna starts to talk about how she saw her mother naked. Eric, envisioning this, gets in the mood to hook up with Donna while thinking about the prospect of her naked mom. Out of all the creepy aspects of Eric Forman's intense horny teenager behavior, his lust for Donna's mom in this particular scene definitely takes the cake.
Donna ignores Eric's misogyny
One aspect of Donna's character that makes her ahead of her time and revered by fans is her feminism. Donna is a firm believer that women are equal to men, can do everything men can do, and deserve the same opportunities men get. She actively defies societal standards with her tomboy nature, not caring what people think of her and dressing and acting how she likes. She is also quick to yell at the guys when they exhibit less than stellar behavior toward women. However, her standards on feminism are slightly contradictory in her relationship with Eric.
Eric is blatantly misogynistic — there's no way around it. There are ways to cut him some slack for it, given the decade the show takes place in and the way he is the lesser of his friends' evils, but the fact remains that Eric is a misogynist. He is sexist when it comes to having sex, Donna's appearance, the way she acts more masculine, and even trying to discredit her assertions about feminism when she stands up for the cause. "Battle of the Sexists," Season 1, Episode 4, is the best example of this, as Eric blatantly engages in activities and games to beat Donna and prove that he is more masculine and therefore the "boyfriend" in the relationship. It draws some curiosity as to how such a strong and set-in-her-ways woman can continue to date Eric after he continuously exemplifies misogynistic behavior.
They both have trouble committing
Part of the issue with rooting for Eric and Donna's relationship to work is the fact that they both really struggle to commit to one another. Truthfully, committing seriously to another human when you are a teenager can be a hit-or-miss kind of thing. The fact that they are both so young and have never truly lived outside of the confines of their parents and their town makes it hard to know that they are right for one another. This is certainly a contributing factor throughout the show, where there are multiple instances of a lack of commitment.
First, in Season 2, Episode 7, Donna tells Eric she loves him, to which Eric responds, "I love cake." The scenario throws the couple off and is particularly surprising considering that before this, we're led to believe Eric is more invested in the relationship than Donna. Then, in Season 3, Episode 25, Eric gives Donna a promise ring, and she tells him she doesn't want it. Eric gets visibly frustrated and ends up giving Donna the ultimatum of the ring or breaking up. Donna, shocked that Eric would put her in this position, breaks up with him and starts the long pause in their relationship. There is even the later seasons debacle about Eric and Donna, days away from getting married, breaking up because Eric wants to take a job in Africa. Both of them struggle to get the commitment part of the relationship right.
Severe lack of trust
All relationships, both platonic and romantic, require a level of trust. That is not to say people don't screw up or tell little white lies, but there is the requirement of a basic understanding that you can trust the person you are with — especially in a romantic relationship. However, Eric and Donna exhibit a clear lack of trust with one another on multiple occasions, which is a clear indicator of a red flag.
In Season 3, Episode 22, Eric reads Donna's diary. This is a clear violation of privacy and trust, as Donna's diary is meant to be her place to privately vent her feelings that she might not want to share with anyone else. Similarly, in Season 3, Episode 6, Donna finds a pair of panties in Eric's car, and they aren't hers. She gets understandably upset, but still does not believe him when he explains that he has no idea where they came from. Eventually, we find out Eric is innocent — the panties end up being Donna's mom's from when she hooked up with Donna's dad in Eric's car. These incidents alone are cause for concern but paired with other scenarios like Eric being insecure about Donna having a job and wanting her to devote more time to him, it's clear the lack of trust and jealousy is a major problem in their relationship.
They are terrible communicators
Another rather self-explanatory aspect of healthy relationships comes from the ability to communicate. Not only should you communicate your needs and wants with your partner, but you should also be telling them when you have problems with them and working together to find compromises where need be. Eric and Donna, though, are notoriously bad at communicating. This is a common sitcom trope, where miscommunication leads to good storylines and funny plots for the audience, but it's not an indicator of a healthy couple.
For one thing, neither of them confides in one another about their problems with each other or with themselves. If Eric is insecure, he talks to his friends. If Donna is insecure, she talks to Jackie. If Eric is mad at Donna, he'll rant to his friends. If Donna is mad at Eric, she'll rant to Jackie. They go to their respective friends, which is always fine if you want to talk something through, but to do so in the absence of any healthy communication between the parties involved is detrimental to the relationship. If they are not comfortable telling each other their vulnerable thoughts or their problems with the relationship, that is a clear sign something is wrong. Also, they lie to each other frequently, like in Season 2, Episode 20 when Eric kills Donna's cat and then lies to her about it. They find themselves lacking communication a lot, which is weird for a good relationship.
Eric leaves Donna days before their wedding
It's no secret that these two struggle with commitment and communication. However, toward the end of the show, it seems the two are ready to be together and begin planning their wedding. In Season 7, Episode 22, Eric makes a decision that impacts their relationship forever: He decides to spend a year in Africa to pursue a career in teaching. The problem is not that Eric is pursuing his dreams or a career he wants — the problem comes from the way he handles his relationship with Donna.
Eric and Donna are planning the wedding and are at the time of the rehearsal. However, Eric does not show up. Donna, furious at his disappearance, finally finds him and he tells her that he is leaving. They try for a long-distance relationship, but ultimately fizzle out. The craziest part of the whole scenario is the fact that Eric repeatedly stood in the way of Donna's collegiate pursuits or career pursuits to make her put their relationship first, and then ultimately repays her by pursuing his own career and leaving her out to dry. The whole thing is completely out of the blue and uncharacteristic of Eric, and though we know they end up together at the end of the show, it's one of the weirdest aspects of their entire relationship.
Teenage immaturity
Though this one is to be expected, teenage immaturity is still a huge reason for the weirdness in their relationship. It's clear that both Eric and Donna, being in their teens and early 20s throughout the whole show, are still learning what it means to be in a good and healthy relationship. Frankly, they have not even been able to discover enough about themselves to even know exactly what they want. Almost all of their relationship issues can be chalked up to teenage immaturity.
In finding the balance of doing what you think is right versus not knowing how to handle relationships yet, the two do a decent job. But Donna dating the wrong people in between her on-and-off relationship with Eric, and Eric saying and doing immature things to upset Donna, all put a strain on their relationship. Though they ultimately end up working through their teenage immaturity and wind up together by the end of the series, the touch-and-go nature of their relationship was to be expected. All in all, Eric and Donna have some weird and unhealthy moments in their relationship, but as they grow and mature, get better at figuring things out for themselves and with each other.