A Horror Villain For Every Zodiac Sign
The zodiac can be as serious or goofy as you want it to be. When you start getting into the astrological weeds of ruling houses, modalities, and elemental affinity, things can get properly complex. Or you can have a grand ol' time approaching the signs as broad caricatures. On the one hand, dividing literally every person into personality archetypes based on their birthday can feel a little arbitrary and reductive. But on the other hand, frameworks can help us learn more about ourselves. And where's the harm in that?
Like zodiac signs, even the most terrifying horror villains have their own strengths, weaknesses, quirks, and charms. Yes, that's right charms. Despite their more ... unsavory actions, horror villains are part of what makes the genre so dang entertaining. We'd bet there's a good chance that when you think of a horror film, the first thing you think about is its villain. They're larger than life and almost always more interesting than the disposable victims and steadfast final girls. Curious what horror baddie fits your zodiac sign? Well, grab the nearest machete (or chainsaw) and read on!
Aries: Chucky (Charles Lee Ray)
Chucky is a hot-headed, rage-filled little killer who slashes first and figures out what to do with the bodies later. In short, Charles Lee Ray is a typical Aries. Those who belong to the first sign of the zodiac are proud, impulsive, and absolutely do not plan ahead. And that's exactly the kind of energy you'd expect from a killer who magically transfers their soul into a doll while bleeding out in a toy store. What are the consequences of the ritual? Are there rules to follow? Will Charles Lee Ray's murderous conscience be trapped in this pint-sized plastic vessel forever? Those are exactly the kind of forward-thinking details Chucky doesn't have time for.
In typical Aries fashion, the "Child's Play" franchise matches the chaotic energy of its anti-hero, jumping tonally from a typical '80s slasher to campy comedy, then back to its serious roots yet again. But hey, Aries don't do well when they're bored, and neither does Chucky, so we're sure the changes of pace sit fine with him. Those born between March 21 and April 19 do what they want and in their own way, throwing themselves at the world without fear or trepidation. Chucky is a lot of things: irritable, wise-cracking, a showboat. But he's not a coward. And, like most Aries, Chucky and his foul mouth have absolutely no filter. So kids, if you see a mean-looking red-headed doll out there, cover your ears (and call the cops!).
Taurus: The Blob
Hailing from the vast reaches of outer space, the Blob crash-lands on planet Earth with one objective: to cuddle. The moment its ride (a smoldering meteorite) cracks open, the Blob just wants to envelop every living thing in sight. The typical Taurus seeks to be surrounded by lots and lots of comforting things, and that's precisely what the Blob is all about: consuming as many warm bodies as possible. At the end of the day, like a good Taurus, the Blob is a homebody ... insofar as their body is a home for the shrieking denizens of small-town America.
Taurus is a very tactile sign, a tender soul who enjoys the sensuality of touch. And just like those born between April 20 and May 20, the Blob is all about enveloping the world in its ooey, gooey embrace. Like most Tauruses, the Blob is stubborn and won't take "no" (or "oh God please don't eat me") for an answer. A door is in the way? No problem, the Blob will ooze right under it. An unsuspecting victim is doing the dishes? No big deal, the Blob will squeeze through the pipes to get a good meal. Once set in motion, nothing can stop the stubborn Blob. Well, nothing except big changes. A consummate Taurus, the Blob is set in its ways almost to a fault. And as seen in both of its cinematic outings, one of the few ways to defeat this alien pile of goop is to suddenly lower the thermostat. We absolutely do not recommend trying this out on any unassuming Taurus in your life.
Gemini: Freddy Krueger
Charismatic? Quick-witted? Could talk to a brick wall should the need arise? Sounds like Freddy Krueger to us. Like Gemini individuals born between May 22 and June 21, the wise-cracking villain of the "A Nightmare on Elm Street" franchise is a one-man party. Other slasher villains may be satisfied with a simple machete or a kitchen knife. But for Freddy, every kill is an opportunity to put on a show. And with the ability to enter the dreams of teenagers, a Gemini like Freddy can really let his creativity and diverse interests shine. Whether it's using syringe-fingers to attack someone recovering from addiction ("Dream Warriors") or force-feeding an aspiring model to death ("The Dream Child"), Freddy may be sadistic, but he's never one-note. What's more mercurial than a shape-shifting dream demon? Nothing, that's what!
As the franchise progresses and we learn more and more about Freddy's tragic backstory, it's clear that, like many Geminis, Freddy uses humor as a crutch. Geminis have voracious mile-a-minute minds. And clearly, Freddy is having the time of his afterlife coming up with all manner of deranged ways to carry on his child-killing legacy from beyond the grave. A Gemini's biggest fear is having to stop, slow down, and be alone with their own thoughts. Fittingly, one of the few sure-fire ways to weaken Freddy is to yank him back to reality or stop paying attention to him altogether ... which would be a nightmare for any self-respecting Gemini!
Cancer: Leatherface
While you might not expect a hardened, murder-happy horror villain to prioritize family life, one chainsaw-wielding maniac absolutely fits the bill. For Leatherface, the consummate villain of "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" franchise, home and family is everything. And just like those born between June 21 and July 22, this Texas-born mass murderer is all about that domestic life. Sure, "home" for Leatherface may include a disconcerting amount of bone-related arts and crafts and slaughterhouse paraphernalia. But there's no denying it: Any slasher villain who finds time to host his final girl at a family dinner is a bonafide Cancer.
Cancers have a reputation for being nurturing and emotional. And while Leatherface's outward appearance (see: masks made out of human skin) may seem like the work of a cold-blooded killer, over the course of the franchise, Leatherface reveals himself to be quite the sensitive soul. In Tobe Hooper's original 1974 film, we see Leatherface adopt the maternal role in the cannibalistic Sawyer family, wearing an apron and ... several women's faces.
Like many Cancers, Leatherface has a tendency to take on other people's problems, be it Drayton (Jim Siedow) in the first two films or Monty Hewitt (Terrence Evans) in the remake continuity. Cancers are homebodies who like to keep traditions (and that includes decorative corpse art) alive. And if there's one thing that defines Leatherface throughout his various reboots and big-screen incarnations, it's his inescapable attachment to his messed-up, flesh-munching family.
Leo: Patrick Bateman
Leos are known for their enormous confidence and love of attention, and narcissistic Wall Street stockbroker Patrick Bateman is all about being perceived, envied, and admired. The anti-hero of Mary Harron's 2000 film "American Psycho" obsesses over his image, constantly preening and amassing the Manhattanite social trappings to dominate his coworkers and assert his superiority. Those born between July 23 and August 22 have a tendency to be a bit vain. And for Bateman, his carefully curated image masks a deep dark secret: a murderous tendency slowly leaking out beneath all those face masks, tailored suits, and impressive bone-white business cards.
Leos are the ambitious sort, and unfortunately for his victims, Bateman's true ambitions lie not in the office, but on the sharp end of an ax. Luckily for Bateman, Leos are great performers: For a while, he's able to go through the motions and mimic his peers to conceal his depraved desires. Leos like to feel important, and for Bateman, that means cultivating an inner narrative that paints him as the smartest, deadliest person in every room. Pride is a Leo's most prominent sin. And bossing them around or challenging them is an absolute no-no, which poor Paul Allen finds out the hard way.
Virgo: Norman Bates
Methodical, efficient, industrious ... Plenty of Virgo traits lend themselves perfectly to the hospitality industry. But in the case of Norman Bates, the unhinged villain of Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho," all those exacting standards have a different and decidedly more morbid purpose. Namely: disposing of the bodies killed by "Mother," Norman's alternative personality and the psychic embodiment of his overbearing, now-mummified matriarch.
On his own terms (Mother excluded), Norman exhibits a host of traits typical of those born between August 23 and September 22. He's persnickety, tangled up in a web of anxiety, and has a plan for just about anything. Let's say this much: If the way he cleans up after the unfortunate shower incident with Marion Crane is anything to go by, Norman totally embodies this sign. Virgos are perfectionists and clean freaks — you know, exactly the kind of person who'd be really good at cleaning up a crime scene.
Ultimately, that same finicky, judgemental attitude is what keeps Norman under the thumb of his mother's domineering spirit — she helps him maintain a perverse sense of control. And sure, it's a little inconvenient to have your "Mother" kill every woman you're attracted to. But hey, at least the Bates Motel always looks spick-and-span.
Libra: Hannibal Lecter
Gosh darn it, Libras are so dang likable! Even when they're gnawing off a chunk of a prison guard's face, they still manage to make you root for them. A true charmer despite his rampant cannibalism, Dr. Hannibal Lecter's unshakable affability and appreciation for the finer things in life (fava beans, chianti, the lightly seared brains of Justice Department officials) make him a classic Libra. But it's the good doctor's judgemental edge that really solidifies his affiliation with the seventh sign of the zodiac.
Libra is represented by the Scales of Justice, and ideals of balance, harmony, and fair play are deeply important to those born between September 23 and October 22. For all his refinement and even temperament, Dr. Lecter fancies himself judge, jury, and executioner of those he deems sinful, from the Nazi soldiers who ate his sister ("Hannibal Rising") to wealthy child molesters ("Hannibal") to anyone with the audacity to get in his way.
Libras are also known for being good at seeing every side of a conflict, and as a psychopathic serial killer who frequently assists FBI profilers with locating and bringing down other psychopathic serial killers, Dr. Lecter knows a thing or two about playing the moral field. In the end, Libras are desperately afraid of being alone. But if your gut is full of other people, are you ever truly alone?
Scorpio: Michael Myers
Scorpios have a reputation for being enigmatic and hard to read. They're powerful but unknowable to most folks they come into contact with, putting up a mask, as it were, to protect their private selves. This has Michael Myers written all over it. Those born between October 23 and November 21 are totally okay with uncomfortable silences that can be unnerving to others.
For the notorious masked slasher of Haddonfield, Illinois, though, silence is a golden rule. The fact that Michael doesn't make a peep while he's slashing his way through babysitters and escaped final girls makes him all the more mysterious, another key characteristic of any Scorpio worth their salt. After murdering his older sister at the age of six, Michael grows up in a sanitarium only to escape and return to his hometown to get back to his murderous roots. Decked out in an ominously pallid Captain Kirk mask, Michael's stoic, silent demeanor is enough to send shivers down any psychiatrist's spine.
The primary antagonist of the "Halloween" franchise is relentless, like any self-respecting Scorpio — refusing to stay down, let alone stay dead. Being trapped in a burning hospital? Eh, just walk it off. Falling down a mine shaft in "Halloween 4"? Nothing passing out for an entire year won't fix (no, really). An unabashed Scorpio, Michael is silent ... but deadly.
Sagittarius: Pinhead
Those affiliated with the ninth sign of the zodiac are known for being wanderers. Sagittarius is desperately hungry for knowledge and new experiences — and Pinhead from the "Hellraiser" films knows a thing or two about craving new sensations. Originally introduced in Clive Barker's 1987 film "Hellraiser," the Hell Priest (later dubbed Pinhead) is the leader of the Cenobites, a group of extra-dimensional, sadomasochistic beings devoted to the pursuit of supernatural hedonism.
A Sagittarius is not content with contentment, and neither is Pinhead, a former human who devoted himself to the expansion of human sensory experience. There is no pain or pleasure for the Cenobites. Rather, they are, as Pinhead puts it in the first film, "explorers in the further regions of experience." Sure, this exploration means having your soul torn apart over and over again for eternity. But for the fervently curious truth-seeker, sometimes you have to go beyond earthly limits to approach satisfaction.
Those born between November 22 and December 21 might see themselves in Pinhead's ruthless empiricism and pursuit of intellectual and physical wanderlust. The warrior-poet, Sagittarius encapsulates a relentless drive for freedom; the sign's intense belief that they can transcend the limitations of reality often makes it hard for them to accept the mundane world. So why not become a dimension-wandering Hell Priest committed to expanding the sensory limits of pain and pleasure? Wander on, Pinhead. Wander on.
Capricorn: Jason Voorhees
Ambitious Capricorns get stuff done — and if one slasher villain deserves to be horror's employee of the month, it's Jason Voorhees. The hulking, un-killable big bad of the "Friday the 13th" franchise is a master of his discipline. Sure, that "discipline" is killing lusty teens. But with twelve movies under his belt and one of the highest body counts in slasher history, you can't argue with the results! Indeed, like those born between December 21 and January 20, Jason is propelled through life with an unflappable sense of duty. In his case: to do his decapitated mama proud. And judging by the way that refrigerated skull is grinning, we'd say old Pamela is awful pleased with her son's productive streak.
Like many Capricorns, Jason is pragmatic and uninterested in being the center of attention. A jumpsuit and a hockey mask may not be the fanciest get-up, but when you're prowling through the marshes and woods of Camp Crystal Lake, dressing sensibly is a must. Capricorns love to be the best at whatever they attempt. And when it comes to massacring teens and coming back from the dead (many, many times), no one's got Jason beat. His steadfast determination is what makes him a force to be reckoned with: He's an unstoppable entity with a "can-do" attitude and a prolific legacy to show for it. Add a machete to the mix and you have a cosmic match made in hell.
Aquarius: Jigsaw (John Kramer)
Ah, Aquarius. The eleventh sign in the zodiac is known for producing visionaries and progressives keenly interested in making the world a better place. They're burdened with a weighty social conscience and a fervent sense of idealism. And when it comes to horror villains desperate to make the world a "better" place, you need look no further than Jigsaw.
John Kramer aka the Jigsaw Killer is the primary antagonist of the "Saw" franchise. After facing down his depression regarding his terminal cancer diagnosis, Kramer gains a newfound appreciation for his own mortality and vows to dedicate the rest of his life to sharing that appreciation with others. And by "share," we of course mean "subject unsuspecting people to horrifying, deadly torture traps that test their will to live."
Hey, when we said that Aquarius is an idealist, we didn't specify sunshine and rainbows. No, Jigsaw's style is more rusty bear traps and pits full of used syringes. You know ... classic tools to better humanity. Indeed, like many born between January 21 and February 18, Jigsaw is more into the concept of people than specific individuals. While Kramer's past as a civil engineer building homes for low-income families is a distant memory, in his own warped way, he remains a humanitarian (of sorts) till the bitter end.
Pisces: Candyman (Daniel Robitaille)
Behind his vengeful spirit and brutal capacity for violence (and being — we cannot stress this enough – full of bees), Daniel Robitaille aka Candyman has a wildly tragic past compared to his villainous peers. The son of a former slave, Robitaille, a renowned painter, was commissioned to create a portrait of the virginal daughter of a wealthy landowner. When the painter and his subject fell in love and had a child out of wedlock, a lynch mob horribly mutilated and murdered Robitaille. The painter's ghost now plagues those who question his existence, spawning a deadly urban legend that haunts inquiring minds to this day.
Mystical, articulate, and adaptable, what truly makes Candyman a force to be reckoned with is his warped sense of reasoning. A true Pisces, Candyman is prone to dreams and fantasy. And in his case, these imaginative leaps involve believing that instilling fear into his community and taking lives is due payment for his own misfortune.
Like those born between February 19 and March 20, Candyman feels things very strongly. These feelings mostly include a sense of betrayal, vengeance, and an intense desire to have his legend perpetuated until the end of time. While his artistic inclinations and dreamy outlook on life certainly peg Candyman as a Pisces, it's his reputation (alive and dead) as a hopeless romantic that seals the deal. Candyman wears his heart on his sleeve ... mostly because his chest is just ribs and bees.