Zack Snyder Confirms The Steamy Army Of The Dead Detail That We Suspected All Along
Zack Snyder's "Army of the Dead" had already provided an embarrassment of riches by the time its third act rolled around — from zombie tigers to speed-ramped slaughter to Tig Notaro with a Swisher Sweet. And then, just when we thought there were no more surprises in store, a miracle of life. Or, more accurately, undeath.
We'll recap, as if anyone didn't have the image burned into their head by now. "Army of the Dead" introduces a fresh take on the shambling corpses that we all know and love: Alpha zombies, with more smarts, speed, muscles, and glowy blue bits than their lesser brothers and sisters. The Alphas are the de facto primary threats of this new undead world. Snyder described his Alphas in the days leading up to the Netflix film's debut, calling them "zombies that have taken another step," and then promptly delivered on his promise. The highly adapted, decomposing nightmare creatures are seen getting up to all sorts of shenanigans not normally associated with being a dead person.
Case in point: After the beheading of the Alpha's Queen, her drooly boo, Zeus, takes her lifeless body somewhere private where he and a couple dozen friends can be alone with it. Zeus then mournfully roots around in his beloved's torso, with his pals supporting him the whole way through. And what's that wily old zombie looking for in the guts of his one and only? Why, a luminescent blue bundle of undead fetus, the audience learns, as he gently cradles his progeny in two cupped, desiccated hands. And while that answers one question, it raises just, like, so many others.
Army of the Dead begs the question: Which Marvin Gaye tracks do zombies like?
To quote every zombie child who's ever mortified their zombie parents by asking questions too loudly in line at the zombie grocery store, "Where do zombie babies come from?" There's not really a delicate way to put this, but it may have more than a little bit to do with a zombie mommy and a zombie daddy loving each other almost as much as they love eating brains.
At least that's what Zack Snyder had in mind when he inserted zombie copulation into our culture. We know this thanks to a recent interview with the director in which a journalist from Esquire – a publication with roots stretching back to the 1930s, and which lists F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway among its former contributors — straight up asked, "How are zombie babies made in the Zack Snyder zombie universe?" It is legitimately the first question posed in the piece.
"Well," replied Snyder, "I believe that some zombie love happened, some sweet zombie lovemaking." Then, reconsidering his adjectives, he stated, "I don't know if it was sweet. It was probably pretty aggressive."
"My theory," he continued, "is that the zombies in our movie are working toward not needing a human host to procreate their species, if you will. That's the ultimate evolution."
"To confirm: in 'Army of the Dead,' zombies have sex?" the interviewer asked, leaving the "Justice League" director very little room to wiggle out of his sordid creation.
"Yeah," Snyder responded shamelessly. "Unfortunately, we don't see that. But yes, I think theoretically they do."
And just like that, with a new appreciation for the term "petite mort," fans around the world began to wonder if Zack Snyder knows what "unfortunately" means.
The many zombie babies of the silver screen
The good news is that the undead can light up a cigarette without worrying about their health, and also that children are often seen as an opportunity to become a better person. Maybe the ability to procreate could afford zombies the chance to reflect on themselves. Maybe they could change their eating habits, or consider finding employment in a field that doesn't involve groaning and chewing on people.
Probably not, though. The zombie baby in "Army of the Dead," while striking, isn't Hollywood's first go 'round with undead infants. Generally speaking, things haven't gone smoothly when a movie has introduced the Spawn of the Dead. In his pre-Hobbit days, Peter Jackson made the deeply weird "Dead Alive," featuring a zombie baby that still haunts our dreams.
Broadly speaking, "Trainspotting" and "Pet Sematary" feature the crawling dead as well. In point of fact, this isn't even the first time that Zack Snyder has plugged a zombie baby into his work. 2004's "Dawn of the Dead," the director's feature film debut, starred another short-lived tyke with a presumed love of Gerber brand Mashed Brains baby food.
As for other flicks that feature zombies bumping extremely uglies, you'll have to Google that on your own time. Maybe wait until you're not on your work computer.