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American Picker's Mike Wolfe Once Spent $400 On An Oilzum Oil Can

Life is a glorious and unknowable tapestry, and no one thread can know for certain what the great loom of existence has put another thread through. It would, therefore, be presumptuous to say that "you've never seen someone get as foamed up over a can of oil as Mike Wolfe from 'American Pickers.'"

Presumptuous, but honestly? Probably not anywhere close to inaccurate.

"I love Oilzum," Wolfe confessed to the audience in the Season 20 episode "Picker's Dozen." "I always have. I love the logo, I love the history of the company, I love the color. ... I even like the way it smells."

How lucky for him, then, that while picking through a desperately creepy storage area, then-co-host Frank Fritz spotted a dusty wooden crate. "Oilzum!" he shouted, indicating that he'd found something bearing the distinctive lubricant's name and ushering in yet another in a series of totally classic "American Pickers" pick sessions.

Mike Wolfe is an Oilzum man

"You cannot think gas and oil without thinking 'Oilzum,'" Mike asserted as the crate was pried open, only to find an unopened can of the brand's high-pressure, super-heated steam cylinder oil — the kind used in Locomobile steam-powered cars from the turn of the 20th century.

Even the owner of the can, theoretically in the business of getting rid of some of his stuff, admitted that it was a heck of a specimen, and maybe too nice to sell. Following some intense thought, he made an offer: "$400 and it's gone." It was good enough for Mike Wolfe, who stuck that paw out and shook like a good boy getting a treat. The handshake rapidly evolved into something more visceral, almost primal, until Frank Fritz chimed in with, "Where's my 10%?"

The best part? Wolfe estimated that, while he'd picked the can up for a scant 80 sawbucks, he'd be able to offload it for more than twice that — maybe as much as $900. What a deal.

Anyway, after that, the fellas picked up a 19th-century piece of dental equipment that you genuinely can't look at without having nightmares. $900 for an oil can is good, but permanently scarring the psyche of anyone that comes into the shop? Priceless.