Actors Who Had Family Members That Were Tragically Murdered
The death of a family member can be an emotionally painful experience for the relatives and friends of the deceased, and when that death is caused by a violent crime, the impact may have longer-lasting implications for the "co-victims," as the circle of survivors is often called in medical and legal circles. Grief is a natural reaction to a person's death, but a homicide can, in many cases, bring about even more devastating emotional fallout: As psychologist Patricia Harney — herself a homicide co-victim – wrote in Slate, a homicide can add feelings of horror, shame, and rage to the survivors' palette of emotions.
The trauma of homicide affects everyone on every rung of society, from working-class individuals to celebrities. Several actors in films and on television have experienced the pain accompanied by the loss of a loved one to violence — the following is a list of those famous figures and the stories of the people close to them who died under violent and tragic circumstances.
The following article includes allegations of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and substance abuse.
Charlize Theron
In films like "Mad Max: Fury Road" and "Atomic Blonde," Charlize Theron has fought against and dealt out jaw-dropping violence with astonishing skill and gravitas. But the Oscar winner found herself in a real-life fight for her life in her native South Africa, and one which ended with a familial tragedy. In a 2019 interview with NPR, Theron recalled the violent impact of her father's alcohol addiction on her family.
"It was a pretty hopeless situation," she said. Her father's addiction issues left them in a constant state of anxiety, wondering when it would bloom into physical violence. That tension finally reached a boiling point when Theron was 15. Her father threatened Theron and her mother, Maritz, with a gun, and even fired shots into a room where they were hiding. "None of those bullets ever hit us, which is just a miracle," she explained. To save herself and her daughter, Theron's mother fired back with her own weapon, killing her husband. Charges were not filed because Maritz had acted in self-defense.
Theron has spoken openly about the experience in hopes of supporting others who might be in similar situations. "I'm not ashamed to talk about it, because the more we do talk about these things, the more we realize we are not alone in any of it," she said.
If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.
Kelsey Grammer
Several of the actors on this list have lost more than one family member to violence. This includes "Frasier" star Kelsey Grammer, whose father and sister were both homicide victims. In a 2015 interview with Vanity Fair, Grammer said that their deaths, while painful, also taught him a tough but valuable lesson. "That every one of us is going to experience some terrible loss," he said. "I think you come to look at it as part of life."
Grammer's father, newspaper editor Allen Grammer, was murdered by taxi driver Arthur Bevan Niles outside his home in the U.S. Virgin Islands in 1968. Niles was found not guilty of the crime by reason of insanity and spent decades in a psychiatric ward. Less than a decade later, Grammer lost his younger sister, Karen, to another mentally unstable criminal.
Karen Grammer was just 18 years old in 1975 when she was abducted by spree killer Freddie Glenn and three accomplices who robbed the restaurant where she was employed in Colorado Springs, Colorado. The quartet sexually assaulted Grammer before stating that they would return her home; however, Glenn, who was under the influence of LSD, fatally stabbed Grammer and left her to die. Glenn was sentenced to death for the murders of Grammer and two other people before Colorado abolished capital punishment. Grammer's testimony about his sister's loss contributed to the denial of Glenn's parole in 2009 and 2014.
If you or anyone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, help is available. Visit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network website or contact RAINN's National Helpline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
Jennifer Hudson
The runaway successes enjoyed by Jennifer Hudson — she is the youngest woman ever to claim an EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony Awards) – were sorely tempered by a terrible family tragedy. One year after Hudson netted her Academy Award for "Dreamgirls," her mother, Darnell Donerson, and brother, Jason Hudson, were both found dead from gunshot wounds in Donerson's Chicago, Illinois, home on October 24, 2008. Hudson's 7-year-old nephew, Julian King, was also reported missing from Donerson's home; he was later found dead from multiple gunshots in a stolen SUV.
Police arrested King's father, William Balfour, for the three murders. Balfour was the ex-husband of Hudson's sister, and reportedly killed her mother and brother and kidnapped his son out of jealousy over an alleged new boyfriend. Though Balfour protested that he had nothing to do with the killings, a jury found him guilty of all three deaths, as well as charges of home invasion, aggravated kidnapping, residential burglary, and possession of a stolen car. He was sentenced to three consecutive life sentences plus 120 years. Hudson, who testified at the trial, later established the Hudson-King Foundation, which provided care for families who lost relatives to violent crime.
Mark Ruffalo
While netting both critical acclaim and box office success for films like "Poor Things" and "Spotlight" alongside his run as The Hulk in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Mark Ruffalo has also dealt with more than his share of personal tragedy. He's experienced dysthymia — a constant low-grade depression — possible undiagnosed dyslexia and ADHD, as well as a brain tumor that temporarily left him with hearing loss and partial facial paralysis. Ruffalo has also experienced personal loss on two occasions: A close friend who died by suicide in 1994, and the shooting death of his brother, Scott, in 2008.
Scott Ruffalo passed away after he was shot in the head in his Los Angeles home. Initially considered a case of self-inflicted injury, Scott's death was later ruled a homicide, and police questioned Shaha Mishaael Adham, who visited him shortly before his death, and her boyfriend, Brian Scofield. Adham was briefly arrested but later released without any charges; She died in 2012, leaving Scott's murder an unsolved case. For Mark Ruffalo, his brother's death prompted a brief retirement from acting until returning for his Oscar-nominated turn in "The Kids Are All Right." He later told the Telegraph that his performance in the film was an homage to his late brother.
Sofia Vergara
In the Netflix limited series "Griselda," Sofia Vergara puts aside the Emmy-nominated comedy skills she displayed on "Modern Family" and embraces darker, more dramatic material to play the notorious Colombian drug lord Griselda Blanco. A fearsome presence in Miami from the 1970s through the early 2000s, Blanco ran her criminal empire through cunning and brutality, an approach Vergara knew all too well following the murder of her brother Rafael in 1998.
Vergara's family oversaw a ranching operation that provided cattle for the meat industry in her native Colombia. "We come from a successful family, and [Rafael] knew he was a target for kidnapping," said Vergara in a 2015 interview with the New York Post. Though frequently accompanied by bodyguards, Rafael chose to go out alone on one occasion and was killed in a failed abduction attempt. His death devastated Vergara's family, and out of an abundance of caution, she moved her mother and siblings to Miami after she relocated there in 1994. "With so many bad things happening, it creates a tough skin," she told Parade. "You just take a deep breath and keep on going — if not for yourself, then for everybody you love."
Dylan McDermott
For years, Dylan McDermott believed that his mother, Diane, died by suicide in 1967, when the Emmy-nominated star of "FBI: Most Wanted" was just five years old. The medical examiner's ruling of accidental death was accepted for more than four decades until a new investigation determined that Diane McDermott was the victim of a homicide.
In 2011, the Waterbury, Connecticut police department found that the original investigation overlooked key details that would have connected her then-boyfriend John Sponza to the murder. Sponza claimed that he had been cleaning his gun at the time of Diane's death and stepped away to take a phone call. Though Sponza was a known violent criminal with a history of abusing both McDermott and his mother, his account was accepted at face value.
Diane McDermott's autopsy later revealed that not only was the gun pressed against the back of her head, dismissing the idea that she had pulled the trigger herself, but that the caliber of the gun found near her body did not match the weapon that killed her. The Waterbury police reported that there was enough evidence to charge Sponza with murder. However, he was himself killed in 1972, allegedly after double-crossing mobsters in Massachusetts.
If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.
Ice Cube
Actor/producer/director Ice Cube first made a name for himself with the groundbreaking West Coast gangsta rap outfit N.W.A. The group's tracks were frequently anchored around hard-hitting stories of life and death on the Los Angeles streets. Ice Cube himself knew firsthand about gun violence: His half-sister was shot to death by her husband when the rapper was just 12 years old.
According to author Ben Westhoff in his 2016 book "Original Gangstas: The Untold Story of Dr. Dre, Eazy-E, Ice Cube, Tupac Shakur and the Birth of West Coast Rap," Ice Cube's half-sister, Beverly Jean Brown, was taken hostage by her husband, Carl Clifford Brown, inside their South Central Los Angeles home. Police gained entry and found Beverly dead by gunshot and Carl wounded. According to Ice Cube, Carl suffered from mental health issues, and initially planned to kill Beverly and then himself. Carl died of his injuries one month later.
In a 2013 interview with HuffPost, Ice Cube said that his half-sister's death remains fresh in his mind. "I think about my sister a lot," he said. "I think about the turn of events that triggered that situation." A contributing factor to the tragedy, according to him, was the lenient attitude towards and general ease in obtaining guns in America. "It's a sick love affair," he said. "But it's just hard to break."
Janelle Monáe
Janelle Monáe has successfully added award-winning actress to her list of laurels, which includes Grammy-nominated music artist, author, activist, and fashion icon. Unfortunately, the "Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery" star is also part of a more exclusive but less desirable group: Family members of murder victims. Monáe's cousin, Natasha Hays, was killed when an unknown assailant fired multiple shots at her home in Kansas City, Kansas in August 2016. Hays, a caregiver, was killed by the spray of gunfire while she slept, but her three children, ages 14 to 18, avoided injury. Family members later told Kansas City's Fox 4 News that Hays had said she felt threatened by an unknown individual in the days before the shooting.
Monáe took to X (formerly known as Twitter) to mourn her cousin's death. "Nobody deserves to lose their mother, sister, cousin, friend, etc to the hands of evil," she wrote on August 31, 2016. "Evil has no race." Later that same day, she posted again, writing, "Hearing your uncle on the phone while he tries to make sense of his daughter being murdered is the most helpless feeling in the world."
Patrick Duffy
Shortly after departing "Dallas," the CBS primetime soap opera that boosted him to stardom, Patrick Duffy experienced a double tragedy when his parents were both murdered at the bar they owned in Montana. Two men, Kenneth Miller and Sean Wentz, entered the bar on November 18, 1986. They had been there earlier that same evening and asked Duffy's father, Terrance, for directions to Boulder Hot Springs. When they were unable to find the retreat, they returned to the Duffys' bar to rob the couple. The crime went awry and both Terrance Duffy and his wife, Marie, were shot and killed.
Both men were convicted of the murders and sentenced to lengthy prison terms before their release on parole in 2007 and 2015, respectively. "When my parents were murdered, I went through all the emotions of the horrific event — shock and anger and everything — but I never felt disconnected from them," said Duffy in a 2019 interview with Closer Weekly. The actor credited his long practice as a Buddhist with finding peace despite their loss. "There was something about the eternity of life that had set deep inside me," he told People.
Rihanna
Though she's best known as a chart-topping and Grammy-winning singer-songwriter, Rihanna has also made forays into acting in features ("Home," "Ocean's 8") and on television ("Bates Motel"), with varying degrees of success. The Barbados native also shares one other commonality with the other actors on this list: She lost a family member to gun violence in 2017.
Rihanna's cousin, Tavon Kaiseen Alleyne, was shot multiple times and killed while walking near his home in St. Michael, Barbados on December 26, 2017. Ebony reported on January 4, 2018, that an alleged suspect had been apprehended; however, the news was undoubtedly cold comfort for Rihanna, who had been celebrating the holidays with Alleyne just a day before his murder. She posted a heartfelt tribute to him on her Instagram page after learning of his death, writing, "RIP cousin ... can't believe it was just last night that I held you in my arms!"
Ron Ely
TV veteran Ron Ely had retired from acting in 2001, but returned to the headlines for a more unsettling reason in 2019. Police were summoned to Ely's home in Santa Barbara, California after receiving a call for help from the residence after 10 p.m. Upon arrival, deputies found Ely's second wife, Valerie Lundeen Ely, dead from multiple stab wounds. They also encountered Ely himself at the home, who stated that his 30-year-old son, Cameron, was involved in the incident. A search of the house and surrounding area eventually led to the discovery of Cameron who, according to the Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Office (via The Hollywood Reporter), ignored commands to get down on the ground and sprang at authorities. Deputies then opened fire and shot Cameron four times, killing him instantly.
A report from the Santa Barbara County District Attorney's Office (via the Santa Barbara Independent) later revealed that Cameron was in the early stage of chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), a neurological disease linked to head trauma. His sisters also reported that Cameron's behavior had become erratic in the days leading up to his mother's death. His death was declared a justifiable homicide by the district attorney's office, to which Ron Ely responded with a wrongful death lawsuit against the Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Office. The case was decided in favor of the Sheriff's Office in 2022.
Niecy Nash-Betts
The senseless deaths of children and adults in a school shooting in Nashville, Tennessee prompted Emmy-winning actress Niecy Nash-Betts to share her own painful memory of her brother's death in a similar incident in 1993. The "Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story" star posted a video on her TikTok account on March 27, 2023 — the same day as the mass shooting at The Covenant School, which claimed the lives of three students and three school staff members. A visibly emotional Nash-Betts expressed her sorrow to the families of the victims, and recalled that her own brother, Michael Ensley, died in a school shooting three decades prior. Just 17 at the time of his death on February 22, 1993, Ensley was shot and killed at Reseda High School by a fellow teenager.
After Ensley's death, Nash-Betts' mother, Margaret Ensley founded Mothers Against Violence in Schools (M.A.V.I.S.), which lent support and education in violence prevention to schools and parents. Nash, who is a spokesperson for M.A.V.I.S., spoke out in favor of gun control. "Some political groups are so focused on the wrong thing that our children are dying," said Nash-Betts in the TikTok video. "And there ain't no coming back from that ... not even a little bit."
Jake Zyrus
Violence had marked the relationship between actor-slash-singer Jake Zyrus and his father to such an extent that they remained estranged for many years. The former "Glee" star — then referred to by his birth name before transitioning in 2017 – told Oprah Winfrey (via People.com) in 2008 that he escaped his father at a young age after he pointed a shotgun at his mother during an argument. "We left my dad, and after that, I never saw him and I don't want to see him," he said.
Regrettably, violence also brought about an untimely end for Zyrus's father, Ricky Pempengco. The Associated Press reported in 2011 that Pempengco was fatally stabbed with an ice pick by Angel Capili in the Philippines.
In his interview with Oprah Winfrey, Zyrus said that his father's funeral was the first interaction he'd had with him in more than 15 years. He also noted that while the death brought back many painful memories, he was able to focus them in a positive direction. "I look all those feelings, I took all the pain," he said (via HuffPost). "[It] made me stronger, to tell myself that it's time to stand up and go out there."