The It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia Character You Are Based On Your Zodiac Sign
When it comes to despicable characters in comedy, few shows have been more unflinching in their depiction of a selfish, morally corroded group of individuals than "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." The owners of Paddy's Pub (the bar where many of the stories take place) are perhaps the most unhinged, neurotic, and deplorable human beings on television who aren't considered villains. Plenty of shows feature rotten people carrying out terrible deeds for various reasons, but none of them are as strangely loveable as these goofs from Philly.
Despite their schemes usually resulting in someone's entire world imploding while the Gang (the collective term for the main cast) saunters back to their pub to either celebrate a victory or just get drunk, the audience still likes them. We root for them to succeed because they represent our collective id walking around the world unbound by societal expectations. There is a kind of wish fulfillment to their existence that we, to a very small degree, admire. If only we could shuck our responsibilities and pursue any and every destructive whim. Since we can't, we watch "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
With that in mind, we're going to examine exactly which characters folks might identify with based on their zodiac sign. Since very few in the Gang have redeemable qualities, we've assigned signs to them best how they either personify the sign's negative traits or corrupt the positive ones. Look below to find out which character you are.
Aries: Dennis Reynolds
According to Allure, those born under the sign of Aries are competitive and love to be number one. One could argue that this description would more closely apply to the character of Mac rather than Dennis, but the show makes it clear that Mac looks up to Dennis. They may argue over who has the best plans for various scams, but Mac usually buckles under Dennis' authoritative tone. He thinks of himself as physically perfect (even though he's buried in makeup) and the ideal male that every heterosexual cisgender woman wants.
It's also said that if you're an Aries, you're probably a "passionate, motivated, and confident leader who builds community with their cheerful disposition and relentless determination." Clearly, these are meant to be positive attributes relating to your willingness to keep going and keep striving in the face of adversity. Well, this is also true of Dennis, but in a morbid way. Dennis is a dangerous, manipulative man capable of bending others to his will.
The show never explicitly depicts his darker activities, the ones he hides from the rest of the Gang, but the fact that he may be taking women by force and (potentially) killing them is strongly hinted at several times. If this is true, he likely uses his subverted positive traits to lure them in.
Taurus: Mrs. McDonald
All you really need to know to understand why Mac's mom Mrs. McDonald is a Taurus is the very first line of this entry from Co-Star Astrology, "Taureans are the human equivalent of moss." This is so befitting Mac's mom that one can almost imagine it being used for her character description in the script, as Mrs. Mac is not a mobile person. Even though, as Mac loves to boast, she worked her way to the top of the Jiffy Lube, physical exertion and human interaction are not things that interest her.
The same listing points out that Taureans are homebodies. Until she burns down her house, we only ever see her planted in a chair, watching television, and speaking in grunts. However, once she moves in with Charlie's mom Bonnie, we see just how angry and quick she can be when someone enters her room while she's trying to sleep. That's about as much character development as we get from her, really.
Her stubbornness and apathy are what make her such a funny character. She hates her ex-husband Luther but doesn't go on about it. She doesn't like her son Mac, and she doesn't want to do anything other than smoke and stare at a television. Mac tries his best to earn her love, pushing through his denial to see the woman he wants her to be, but this land plant has zero interest.
Gemini: Artemis
Individuals born between May 21 and June 20 are traditionally considered to be born under the sign of Gemini. As noted by Astrology Zodiac Signs, traits associated with Gemini are a gentle and affectionate nature, the ability to adapt, and a strong like for nearly everyone. There aren't a ton of people like that on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," but there is one incredibly open-minded person who is willing to try almost anything and holds no judgment in regards to a person's interests. Her name is Artemis.
Perhaps saying that Artemis likes almost everyone is a tad disingenuous. Her feelings about people are ambiguous. She's "friends" with Dee from acting class, but they don't necessarily get along. It may be more accurate to describe her as carnally interested in most people. Based on the lascivious way in which Artemis interacts with the majority of men she meets, it is fair to assume that she views everyone based on how likely it is that she will enjoy sleeping with them.
Artemis is so free sexually that she even indulges Frank Reynolds (Danny DeVito) in all of his twisted and bizarre fetishes. We know this not only from occasionally explicit glimpses into their personal lives but also from Frank's habit of oversharing the hideous details with the rest of the Gang, much to their dismay. She may not be the perfect example of what makes a Gemini, but she's the best this show has to offer.
Cancer: Charlie Kelly
Charlie Kelly is a difficult character to pin down. On the one hand, he is an innocent, naive adult with the tastes of an immature teenage boy with no parental supervision. Other times, though, he is a manifestation of universal chaos. Diving deeper into his character reveals that his disgusting habits, filthy living conditions, and atrocious cooking skills are just the tip of the iceberg. He, like everyone in the series, is a human being who is flawed to his very core.
If it's true, as Allure writes, that Cancers can "exist in both emotional and material realms," then that right there confirms Charlie's status as this show's representation of the sign. There are times when Charlie can be present, plotting and scheming with everyone else, but then he shifts. Triggered by an abstract idea forming in his head, Charlie will either become super productive and motivated or entirely driven by a childlike emotional need to get something done his way.
Whether it's his incessant attempts to get the waitress to go out with him, keeping Frank at his side at all times, or biting off Santa's nose, Charlie often goes to nonsensical extremes to get what he wants. This makes him impossible to understand and is why, when the group is deciding on their dynamic, he is considered the wild card. If they don't watch him, he's likely to blow something up to prove a point only he understands.
Leo: Mac
Co-Star Astrology writes that Leos can be vain. This is in addition to a big personality and desire to stand out and be considered special in some way. That could be true of almost any character on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." The show is a collection of broken people using their worst instincts as a tool to repair damage caused at some point during their childhood. Perhaps none is more desperate to be accepted as exceptional and reassured than Ronald "Mac" McDonald.
While Dennis walks around assuming everyone understands and accepts his superiority, Mac stumbles into every situation begging people to acknowledge his excellence. This comes from two parents who could not care less about him. As is demonstrated every time he interacts with his mother and father, they have no interest in his existence. Desperate for love, he unsuccessfully peacocks his way through life, never getting the admiration he craves.
His latent homosexuality is another driving force in his quest to be viewed as an alpha male. Subconscious insecurity over his attraction to men causes him to act macho until he finally realizes the truth and accepts himself. His struggle with his identity is beautifully captured in an elaborate interpretive dance that is so powerful it brings a tear to the eye. Even though he accepts his sexuality now, he isn't done seeking approval from the world around him.
Virgo: Sweet Dee
There was a time when Deandra "Sweet Dee" Reynolds served as the grounded and rational member of the "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" Gang. When they came up with their schemes to scam someone or reinvent themselves in some ridiculous way, Dee pointed out the flaws in their logic. However, it's impossible to be surrounded by such a toxic group and not be infected by their energy. Deandra quickly becomes every bit as miserable and dangerous as everyone else.
So, why is she a Virgo? As noted by Astrology Zodiac Signs, Virgos are known for being "loyal, analytical, kind, hardworking, practical." That doesn't exactly sound like a woman who shares her twin brother's need to dominate those she sees as inferior and who utilizes terrible judgment at nearly every turn. However, it makes perfect sense when considering the way Sweet Dee sees herself.
Like Dennis, Dee believes she is the best at everything and that most men desire her. She also considers herself to be more pragmatic and enlightened than her friends. It's all a delusion, though. Nearly every romantic encounter ends in embarrassment and shame. As an actress, she is incapable of following directions or even performing. More often than not, when it's her time to shine, she literally chokes, heaving on her anxiety. If Dee had her way, the world would agree to celebrate her kindness and work ethic. Unfortunately, she possesses none of these things.
Libra: Bonnie Kelly
Since Libra is a star sign represented by scales, Allure writes that individuals born under this sign tend to be "obsessed with symmetry and strives to create equilibrium in all areas of life." When it comes to "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," the only equilibrium or balance they're interested in is living in a world where they get everything they want. So, you have to turn to some of the guest characters to find anyone who actually fits this definition. This is where Charlie's mom Bonnie Kelly shines as the clear winner.
For the most part, Bonnie is a kind and gentle woman who deeply loves Charlie. At least, she says she does. Considering his childhood experiences, it seems more accurate to say that Bonnie believes she loves her son. She doesn't love him in a conventional sense. When she enters a relationship with Frank, she ridicules Charlie at his behest, even though she feels terrible about it. Also, she has a series of neurotic routines she needs to accomplish nightly (flipping switches on and off and spinning) to prevent Charlie from dying.
Her compulsive disorder and inferiority complex (she really likes it when men verbally abuse her) are the dark flipside of Libra's sense of symmetry and equilibrium. Like other characters on the show, she represents a twisted version of her sign.
Scorpio: The McPoyles
It is virtually impossible to separate one McPoyle from another. This infamously inbred family is more like a single disgustingly sweaty mass rather than a collection of related individuals. While we primarily encounter brothers Liam and Ryan, what we do see of the rest of their clan confirms that they all might as well be the same person. Therefore, we will be discussing the family as a whole.
There is something offensive about the existence of the McPoyles. They luxuriate in anything that most civilized people would consider disgusting. Aside from the fact that they have been reproducing within their own bloodline for a thousand years, they are constantly clammy, grotesquely frank about their sexual lives, and unnaturally obsessed with milk.
Like a lot of Scorpios, they tend to focus on betrayal. When a member of the Gang wrongs them in some way, they plan to get them back. If their kin decides to date outside the family, they do whatever they can to bring them back into the clan. During their first few appearances, you can't tell if what they're saying is meant to be funny much of the time (another Scorpio trait). Only after multiple appearances do we learn that not only are they not joking — they're even worse than you initially imagined.
Sagittarius: The Waitress
Like Dee, the Waitress (her name is never given) started as basically human. Each time she shows up, though, we see that she isn't as together as we initially thought and as she would like to project. She is also like Dee in that we get the distinct impression that she views herself as someone adventurous and philosophical (traits associated with the Sagittarius sign), but she's really just a barely functioning adult who can't keep a job.
Most people would probably say that they dislike "clingy" people, but since this is specifically listed as one of Sagittarius' dislikes, it makes sense to assume that the Waitress is the best example of the sign the show has. For her first few appearances, it's made crystal clear that Charlie is stalking her. She issues restraining orders, but nothing seems to help. That was her defining characteristic until we learned more about her.
One way in which we see her Sagittariun idealism is in her crush on Dennis. Of course, Dennis has no real feelings for the Waitress, but enjoys leading her on. Obviously, she should be well aware of his reputation and manipulative tactics, but she can't get over the fact that she wants to be with him. Even when she makes it clear that the way he treats her is damaging, there's still a part of her that hopes he will finally change and be with her.
Capricorn: Rickety Cricket
While writing for Allure, professional astrologist Aliza Kelly points out that she has encountered enough Capricorns that she "can confirm that there's something that makes Capricorn extremely special. Perhaps it's their fearless ambition? Their limitless resilience? Their ability to keep pushing forward, even in the face of challenging adversity and painful strife?" Of all the "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" characters who are forced to keep on living despite all the terrible things thrown at them, Matthew Mara (everyone just calls him Cricket) stands out as having to put up with the most.
This is a man whom we first met as a priest. At the time, he was living the best life he could see for himself. However, running into Dee again stirred up the kinds of emotions priests aren't exactly encouraged to entertain. So, he gives up everything to be with her – only to get rejected. Directionless, Cricket undergoes a major transformation and becomes absorbed in the drug scene. He loses his home and lives on the street, constantly getting in fights with people and animals while selling his body to feed his addictions.
As if that weren't bad enough, the Gang finds more inventive ways to make his life miserable, including literally hunting him. However, he keeps moving and pushing through the hardships. Not that he gets anywhere with his perseverance. Still, it's impressive.
Aquarius: Frank Reynolds
Although he doesn't show up until Season 2, Frank Reynolds could easily be considered the prototypical "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" character. Take all the psychological damage suffered by the main cast, bury it in an insatiable to engage in baser instincts, the conscious desire to get weird with the back end of his life, along with a seemingly endless supply of cash, and you have the Gang in concentrated form. That is Frank Reynolds.
Frank would likely argue that he did not engage the troublesome aspects of his personality until he started hanging out with his twin children Dennis and Dee (who are not his biological children) at Paddy's Pub, but there are enough references to the kind of raunchy businessman he used to be to prove that this is not true. Based on all the evidence the show provides us, Frank has always been the aberrant incarnation of what makes an Aquarius.
A few of the traits linked with Aquarius are "intentionally esoteric," "actually believes in conspiracy theories," and "fetishizes personal freedom" (honestly, there isn't much Frank doesn't fetishize, but the freedom to do whatever he wants is certainly a priority). Imagine everything great about what makes an Aquarius unique and pervert it — then you'll see why Frank is the only choice for this sign.
Pisces: The Lawyer
Allure says that those born under the sign of Pisces stand out because they have "absorbed every lesson — the joys and the pains, the hopes and the fears — learned by all of the other signs. This makes these fish the most psychic, empathetic, and compassionate creatures of the astrological wheel." Again, empathy and compassion are in short supply in "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," but there is a character who has learned from his encounters with the Gang and can usually tell where their plans are going before they have a chance to get there — the Lawyer.
For instance, when the Gang went to him for help getting some patents, the Lawyer outsmarts them by making them sign contracts that ensure all the profits from the patents would go to him. In anticipation of Mac trying to eat the contract, he has several copies already printed up. He also handles a divorce settlement involving Dennis that requires him to take on all of his ex-wife's debt while continuing to pay her alimony. The fact that he understands the Gang so well and plots several moves ahead may not be a supernatural ability, but it's about as close to psychic as the show gets, which is why the Lawyer is the best representation of Pisces on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."