Things Only Adults Notice In Armageddon

In the years leading up to and immediately following the turn of the 21st century, it seemed that humanity became collectively obsessed with the end of the world. Hollywood churned out one blockbuster after another, each dealing with the question of what sort of threat might usher in the end of civilization as we know it, what it could look like, and most importantly, how humanity might deal with it. Would we resign ourselves to our horrible fate, or would we rise to the occasion?

In Michael Bay's 1998 bombastic space adventure Armageddon, the answer to the latter question is a resounding yes. Armageddon sees Earth faced with a Texas-sized asteroid threatening to smash straight into its surface, which would subsequently wipe out all life on the planet. The planet's only hope is for NASA to join forces with an elite team of oil drillers to fly into space, drill a hole into the asteroid, plant a bomb, and blow it up. Easy peasy. 

Obviously, it doesn't take a rocket scientist, or even an eighth-grade education, to see that the premise of Armageddon is a little ridiculous. But even though a lot of the silliness of Armageddon is obvious no matter what age you are, there are certain aspects that don't really stick out until you're watching it as an adult. From the perplexing to the downright cringe-worthy, here are things only adults notice in Armageddon.

Harry doesn't get a lot of opportunities to parent his daughter Grace (Liv Tyler) during the course of Armageddon, but what we do see leads to some significant concerns. Grace is a grown adult who works in public relations for Harry's company, yet the beginning of the film sees her hiding under the covers from her dad like a little kid ... and for good reason, based on how Harry reacts. Despite Grace being an independent adult, Harry's response to finding her in a consenting relationship with one of his employees is to grab a shotgun and attempt to shoot her boyfriend, A.J. (Ben Affleck).

He doesn't cause any lasting damage, but Harry does manage to shoot A.J. in the leg, which begs the question, when Harry and his crew are making their demands to the government before going into space, why not ask for immunity for the possible assault charges that could be filed against him? The way the scene plays, it feels like it's not the first time Harry's violent temper has gotten away from him, and other targets may not be as forgiving as Harry's future son-in-law. Granted, Harry winds up nobly sacrificing himself by the end of the film so it winds up being a moot point, but if Harry had survived, he could've been looking at serious jail time — especially if what he did to A.J. was part of a bigger pattern.

The ridiculousness of NASA's plan has been one of the most common criticisms of Armageddon for as long as the film has existed, but it bears repeating that teaching astronauts to drill makes a lot more sense than teaching oil drillers to be astronauts. What's sometimes overlooked in critiques of the film's plot is that the much more logical plan to send astronauts into space actually was NASA's initial plan. At first, Harry is only brought in as a consultant to help teach the astronauts how to competently use the drilling equipment before they go into space. However, that plan is rejected by Harry, who volunteers himself and his crew to go into space instead.

It's particularly silly since Harry doesn't even really try to teach the astronauts how to drill before he offers up his own alternative plan. All he does is take a brief look at the rig NASA has assembled, inform them that they put it together wrong, and then refuse to do any more than that. As a kid, it may seem logical that NASA was so bad at assembling Harry's drill that he knew the entire operation was doomed, but as an adult, it seems like it would've been far simpler for Harry to just show them how to put the equipment together correctly. At the very least, he could've given them a tutorial in equipment assembly and usage before throwing up his hands and declaring it all a lost cause. But according to Armageddon, teaching oil drillers to become astronauts is actually the path of least resistance.

When the government picks up Harry from his rig, A.J. is still right by his side, although Harry had just fired him. However, when Harry goes to recruit him for NASA's mission just a day or two later, A.J. already has his own oil business up and running. He's got land, signage, and a drilling rig of his own, none of which look brand new. The timeline of Armageddon is extremely tight — just a couple weeks from the time the asteroid was discovered until it's blown up — which doesn't leave a lot of time to get a brand new business off the ground.

Even if A.J. moved very quickly after getting fired, he likely wouldn't have had time to get all of the pieces in place to already have his own business up and running just a couple days later. The only logical explanation is that A.J. was already striking out on his own before Harry let him go, making his firing actually pretty fortuitous. Maybe A.J. thought Harry would react better to his relationship with Grace if A.J. wasn't Harry's employee, or maybe A.J. really did just want to be his own boss. Regardless of why he was striking out on his own, it's interesting that neither A.J. nor Harry ever addresses the fact that had Harry survived, A.J. would've been his competition.

While Armageddon does have a couple female characters that don't exist solely to be ogled by men, there isn't a woman in the film who doesn't have to withstand some level of misogyny from the male characters, ranging from well-meaning sexist condescension to outright harassment. On the milder end of the spectrum are things like NASA project director Truman (Billy Bob Thornton) gently telling Grace, "Baby, you shouldn't be here," when he thinks the mission is going sideways. His intentions were good, but there's no way he would've used the same phrasing if Grace were a man.

In an example of more blatant harassment, several of the drillers spend their training time with Lieutenant Watts (Jessica Steen) whispering about her physical attractiveness. When she calls them out on it, Rockhound loudly jokes about wanting Watts to kick him in the balls. These aren't the only examples of male characters making sexist remarks to female characters in Armageddon; they're just the ones directed at main characters. Sexist comments played for laughs isn't really anything unique for action movies of the '90s, but watching it in a post-MeToo era, the rampant sexism really stands out.

At the end of Armageddon, after the hole in the asteroid is finally dug and the bomb is placed, the characters are appalled to realize that they've lost the ability to detonate it remotely, meaning that one of them must stay behind to do the job manually. Harry winds up volunteering for the job, but as he waits for the space shuttle to clear the detonation site, he himself is blasted away by one of the many exploding gas pockets on the asteroid, which means it takes longer than anyone expected for him to finally detonate the bomb.

Colonel Sharp (William Fichtner) is piloting the space shuttle with the surviving crew members back to Earth, but when he believes Harry isn't going to detonate the bomb, he says he'll go back and do it himself. Chick (Will Patton) talks him out of it by asking for one more minute, and Sharp complies. The only problem with this is that they literally don't have a minute. This exchange takes place when the shuttle is only a minute from "zero barrier," the point at which the mission will have failed even if the bomb does go off. Not only could Sharp never have made it back in time to detonate the bomb, but Chick's request for one more minute is essentially asking Sharp to give up.

Rockhound is just a consistent source of trouble during Armageddon, but come the end of the movie, he's probably the one with the most to worry about. Despite showing up at A.J. and Grace's wedding at the end of the film like he doesn't have a care in the world, Rockhound is likely in a lot of trouble after returning to Earth. The night before departing for the asteroid on the Freedom, Rockhound borrowed (and subsequently spent) $100,000 from a loan shark at a 60% interest rate, with no way to pay back his debt since he assumed he was going to die in space.

Rockhound briefly mentions that he's worried about his debt after the crew has completed their mission, but it's never treated as much more than a throwaway joke. However, Rockhound's inability to pay his debt could easily be a problem that will follow him for the rest of his life, depending on exactly how ruthless this loan shark is. Sure, Rockhound stuck around for A.J. and Grace's wedding, but it's not outside the realm of possibilities that after the last piece of cake was cut, Rockhound had to go on the run.