Storage Wars: Kenny Crossley's Best Moments
Kenny Crossley has been one of the most welcomed presences on "Storage Wars" over the years. He was a recurring bidder from Seasons 2 through 4, but starting with Season 10 after an extended hiatus from the reality series, he became a main cast member. He's been successful over the years for many of the same reasons as other buyers featured on the show; he has an over-the-top personality and has created many stand-out moments while scrounging through storage units.
From watching his episodes, it doesn't take long to see why he's a force to be reckoned with. He's had many successful finds over the years, including a major score from "Storage Wars" Season 11, Episode 2 — "Out of the Frying Pan AM." In a clip available on YouTube, Kenny risks $375 on a locker, but it's worth it when he finds an antique humidor in the shape of the White House. It ends up being valued at $1,500, demonstrating why Kenny has stuck around for so many seasons.
As far as the best moments from Kenny in "Storage Wars," it comes down to the catchphrases and hilarious jokes he's made during his time on the series. He's had quite a few, and some of them have even gone viral. So even if you don't watch "Storage Wars," you may have seen these clips before.
Kenny from Storage Wars reminds everyone to 'watch your profanity'
When it comes to looking at the best of Kenny Crossley from "Storage Wars," one has to discuss his viral meme. Kenny regularly partnered with Barry Weiss, who also left early in the show's run only to return later. In Season 3, Episode 20 — "No Bid for the Weary" — the pair investigate a storage locker. Barry swears, which is bleeped out in the show, which resulted in Kenny awkwardly telling him, "Watch your profanity."
With three simple words, Kenny became a meme. It also helped the episode aired when the social media app Vine was at the height of its popularity, with the short segment blowing up on the platform. It didn't take long for other users to put their own spin on the moment, with one such YouTube video splicing the scene with the music video from Eminem's "Lose Yourself" from "8 Mile," resulting in the lyric mash-up, "Snap back to reality / Watch your profanity."
In a way, Kenny saying "Watch your profanity" can be seen as a precursor to Captain America's "Language!" line from "Avengers: Age of Ultron." Both became a meme, which raises the question as to why the internet likes it when someone is sensitive to curse words.
Kenny the mathematician
Kenny Crossley earned a reputation as being a bit of a class clown on "Storage Wars." From the way he pronounces certain words, like "refrigermerater" instead of "refrigerator," to bringing props to auctions, it's easy to see how he was picked to be on the show. He's naturally charismatic and has fun within this profession.
A great example of Kenny's humor on display comes in an episode where he successfully purchases a storage unit with a little "help" from his trusty hot pink calculator. It's unlikely the calculator did any tangible good, but Kenny has fun trying to calculate how much he could feasibly get based on what he can see inside the locker. Once he gets it, he notices an exercise roller that he takes for a spin. The only problem is that he ends up crushing his calculator, and it's totally useless.
Still, it's a small price to pay considering he stumbled upon a collection of Bibles that were worth a pretty penny when appraised. He may be a jokester, but he knows value when he sees it.
One man's trash is Kenny's treasure
Aside from props and jokes, Kenny Crossley's other claim to fame on "Storage Wars" was his knack for finding valuable antiques in the most unexpected places. Bidders aren't allowed to look through storage units; they can only get a glance of what's in there from the outside. A lot of the time, they'll look in there, and it just looks like a bunch of junk. However, this was usually Kenny's time to shine.
On "Storage Wars" Season 13, Episode 12 — "Let My Lockers Go" — Kenny bids on a pair of storage units no one else wants. He pays $25 a piece for them, so it's a relatively low gamble. After he wins them, he scrounges around and doesn't really find anything of note. But as shown in a YouTube clip, his luck changes when he and Brandi Passante find an old recorder. Kenny knows a guy to appraise it (everyone knows a guy for everything), and he values the item at $449 off an original $50 investment.
It's an all-time great Kenny moment from "Storage Wars" because it shows how he's a different bidder than anyone else on the show. Everyone tries to get the lockers that seem like they'd be filled with treasures. Kenny takes the path less traveled, and while he may not end up with the flashiest pieces, he usually walks away with a nice profit.