The CSI Character You Are Based On Your Zodiac Sign
Police procedurals make up some of the most popular entries in the mystery (or murder mystery) genre. Following the investigators as they find out whodunit is a compelling way to feed and entertain the brain, which explains why so many of these shows have been so enduringly popular over the years.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" plays on this fascination by showing all the details of what's found as scientific evidence. The gathering of precise details, and noticing which little overlooked trifles have importance, are things mystery lovers have been fascinated with since Sherlock Holmes first used nascent forensic science techniques to nab his criminals. Instead of police or private detectives, "CSI" focuses on the scientifically-minded folks who screen and analyze the crime scenes, as well as those who look at it in their labs afterwards.
"CSI" has been popular enough over the years to launch several spinoffs, all riffing on the plot tropes and character archetypes that made the original series so engaging. These archetypes and tropes are fun to pinpoint and think about in the various traits of the zodiac as well as in beloved characters from our favorite shows. It's a fun way to think about personality types and storytelling. So what do you think: Which "CSI" character are you most like, based on when you were born?
Warning: Some spoilers for "CSI" ahead!
Aries (March 21-April 19): Catherine Willows
The time span between March 21-April 19 is considered the first sign in the zodiac, and those born within those dates act like they're number one as well. Aggressive and quick to anger, this sign represented by the ram is always in charge.
Catherine Willows, the co-top-dog of the CSI team, is everyone's mom or cool aunt. She easily takes charge in difficult situations, and manages everyone (even her co-lead and eccentric work partner Gil Grissom) with assertive ease. She's also not afraid to build and wield her power, and uses her casino owner father for extra control, investigative strategy, and first-place positioning. Willows gets things done, and isn't ashamed of her past. She acts on impulse much of the time, for better or (sometimes) for worse. Remember when she forced her daughter to look at the dead hitchhiker in the morgue as a cautionary tale? Yeah, that's an Aries move — it's the kind of aggressive and impulsive act that Aries the Ram is known for.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Nick Stokes
Stubborn, chthonic, and dependable, those born between April 20-May 20 are the earthiest of the earth signs. These folks have the reputation of being solid, stoic, and hard to get to know. Once you work your way into a Taurus' trust, though, they'll stay by you through thick or thin. This sign's symbol is the Bull, which fits the solid, earthy, and immovable traits of Taurus.
Nick Stokes is the reliable right hand man to Willows, Grissom, or whoever is top dog in any given investigation. Solid Stokes can be depended on, no matter what challenges the case of the week might pose. Faithful to a fault, you can tell he's the earthy Taurus when he does things like adopt a former police dog. He stubbornly tries to clean up the rampant police corruption he sees, and, bull-like, starts out pretty close to recalcitrant when D.B. Russell takes over his office after Grissom's departure. Once his trust is gained, though, he's like a rock in his loyalty.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): Greg Sanders
This air sign is often thought of as two-faced, deceitful, and shifty. But those born under Gemini are also gatherers of knowledge, tricksters, and are adaptable and changeable influences in a chaotic world. The symbol for Gemini is the Twins, which makes sense when you think about Gemini's dual nature.
Bouncy blond Greg Sanders is the classic joyful trickster character — he snickers at schoolboy innuendo, sports wild haircuts, and is not only into but widely knowledgeable about fetishes of many types. But underneath all that youthful wild energy is actually a font of deep knowledge about his own profession, historical facts about Las Vegas, and other nerdy topics like coin collecting. Geminis are charming, shapeshifting knowledge-gatherers, and Sanders is that to a tee. He does acquire a bit more gravitas after he's badly beaten during Season 7, but he remains the changeable charmer in spite of it.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Sara Sidle
Those born between June 21 and July 22 are known as the most emotional of all the signs in the zodiac. Cancers are sentimental, empathic (often to a fault), and self-protecting as well — after all, the symbol for Cancer is the Crab, and that shell is hard to crack.
Sara Sidle gets very emotionally attached and sympathetic to victims of crimes, especially domestic violence survivors. Sometimes this gives her extra insight to help bring the case to a successful conclusion, but often she's too emotionally attached to the situation to keep a clear problem-solving head. She has a soft spot for animals and even goes vegetarian partway through her arc for animal-preservation reasons. Her emotional connection to Grissom leads to romance and marriage. Sidle is the empathic center of many "CSI" mysteries and is almost a third partner in the authority figures heading the department — she'll return more than once to bring her compassionate Cancerian ways not only to the post-Grissom "CSI" world, but "CSI" spinoffs as well.
Leo (July 23-August 22): Dr. Raymond Langston
Make way for this fire sign! Those born between July 23-August 22 are often selfish or at least self-centered, vain, and glamorous. Got a red carpet? Watch out — a Leo will be strutting down it before long, gathering all the attention unto themselves. This isn't all negative, by the way; the charm of the Leo is in their delight in themselves, and hey, they always have good beauty tips.
Dr. Ray isn't the kind of self-centered Leo that's about vanity and physical glamour — his brand of self-centered behavior has more to do with being so hyper-focused on his own story that it puts some blinders on his investigative ability, especially with regards to his over-arching vendetta against serial killer Nate Haskell. Once he's on the case, Dr. Ray not only abandons unemotional investigation in favor of personal bitterness, but following Haskell makes Dr. Ray zoom in on his own dodgy background, his "sociopathic gene" and all he's afraid that will entail. He makes his hunt for Haskell, in other words, all about himself. Classic Leo.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): the Miniature Killer
Those born under the earth sign represented by the Virgo are known as logical, methodical, and precise, with a full-sweeping attention to detail unmatched even by the other intellectuals of the zodiac. They tend to judge others if they aren't sufficiently attentive to the tiniest detail. Their motivation is logic and completion.
If any "CSI" character can be said to have a minute and methodical attention to detail, it has to be the Miniature Killer. A serial killer like no other on TV, she'll construct a meticulous model of a crime scene and place it where it will be found by the CSI team before she commits the crime. Once she commits the actual crime, the crime scene is absolutely exactly like the miniature model she's created as a warning. To scale! This kind of detailed execution (see what we did there?) could only be managed by the methodical mind of a Virgo.
Libra (September 23-October 22): Dr. Al Robbins
This air sign is symbolized by the scales, which represent the Libra traits of balance, equilibrium, justice, and equity. Those born between September 23-October 22 tend to be conflict-averse, in that they try to keep balance in the world no matter what. Their sense of justice and morality is strong, and they are unwavering in their fight for fairness.
Dr. Al Robbins is the patriarch of the mortuary, the main medical examiner of the "CSI" world, and he's all about maintaining justice, fairness, and equality in his work and in his life. He won't tolerate anything less than a total pursuit of justice, either — he gets very snippy when he sees other CSI professionals taking shortcuts in their work, cheating, or simply not living up to the spirit of their crucial professional obligations. He's also an advocate for justice for those with disabilities — the actor playing Dr. Al (Robert David Hall), and the character himself, is a double amputee.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Warrick Brown
This water sign is the epitome of stormy, sexual passion, and those born under it (between October 23-November 21) will show all of these traits. Like their watery counterparts the Cancer Crabs, the Scorpio Scorpions are emotional in a more intense and tempestuous way. Passion as opposed to compassion. This sign is also a little shifty, and is likely to indulge in secret lives and even betrayal, according to the astrologers at Co-Star.
Passionate and tenacious, Warrick Brown is in and out of trouble stemming from his gambling addiction almost from the very beginning of his tenure on the show. Both sexy and smart, he's not only the action star of the core "CSI" group, but his brain is as big as his biceps — he's excellent at audiovisual equipment and processes, and has the math prowess to count cards while indulging in his addiction.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): David Hodges
This friendly fire sign is into self-improvement, and moving forward in life with positive progress, both of the emotional and educational varieties. Those born between November 22-December 21 are the zodiac's truth tellers, and will speak and stand by the truth no matter what. The symbol for this sign is the archer, and that kind of far-reaching shot is the perfect metaphor for Sagittarius.
David Hodges is a "Star Trek" fan (or at least, the "CSI" version of one), who is as involved with the fandom as any real-life enthusiast can be. He is always speaking the truth, even if it's irritating to his colleagues or otherwise not socially acceptable. In the beginning of his arc, he rubs the rest of the team the wrong way much of the time, but they end up sharing a strong camaraderie. His superpower is his sense of smell, which is his precision as a Sagittarian archer, and he definitely tells it like it is, even if some of the people surrounding him don't like his delivery.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Jim Brass
Those born between December 22-January 19 are the mature grown-ups of the zodiac. These folks (represented by the Goat) are the responsible ones, and they take their responsibility to duty very seriously. Capricorns are private people, slow to open up to others and are not motivated by emotion, but by their sense of duty.
Captain Brass is the adult in the "CSI" room. He's in charge of the local police force, and as such is responsible and committed to his duty as police chief. His last name is even a popular slang term for his authority and job. He's the captain of the police force but also is kind of the dad of CSI, and indeed there are several episodes with plot points reserved for his fatherly struggles — and in the revival series, he returns as the mature yet badass Brass he's always been.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Gil Grissom
The obsessive intellectuals of the zodiac, those born between January 20-February 18 are often misunderstood or even disliked because of their intelligence and (socially off-putting) focus. This air sign's habit of nerding out about strange, esoteric, or unusual topics tends to isolate them from their peers, and as such, an Aquarius can be the outcast who becomes a rebel. Though the Aquarius symbol is the water bearer, it is an air sign, and is often pictured as in the clouds, pouring the water of knowledge down onto the people they're far above and separated from.
Aquarians are often described as being obsessive in their intellectual pursuits, almost to the point of being a savant. This trait is the first thing we think of when we picture Gil Grissom and his eccentric entomology hobby, as well as his Sherlock Holmes-like ability to find and analyze evidence. Grissom also fits the Aquarius-as-outcast bill, especially when his hearing starts to trouble him and he becomes more and more isolated from his colleagues because of it.
Pisces (February 19-March 20): Lady Heather
The most psychic of the signs, dreamy Pisces lives in a world of intuition and spirit, traveling like a shaman between fantasy and reality (and often spending less time in reality than in fantasy). The Pisces symbol is usually depicted as two fish swimming around each other, like yin-yang. This represents the two worlds that a Piscean constantly moves between.
Lady Heather is a character who's centered in dreams and intuition, and lives almost in another world. A licensed therapist by (one of her) trade(s), she's well versed in the workings of the mind and the otherworld of the Pisces. And as the owner and operator of a BDSM dungeon, she deals in fantasies as her daily day job. Her relationship with Grissom seems almost spiritual, which fits with their Aquarian and Piscean natures, and the way they complement each other.