Talented Actors In Terrible Films Rated 0 Percent On Rotten Tomatoes

Even when the point of a Bruce Willis movie is "blow everything up," he typically does a fine job of presenting the guy who's about to blow everything up. Not so with Precious Cargo, his 2016 stab at a heist movie that ultimately steals nothing but 90 minutes of your life.

In Cargo, Willis plays a crime boss who's forcing another thief to steal an armored car for him. So the "Michelangelo of thieves," as they call Willis's pawn, is the "good guy." Want to cheer for a hero? Go visit your grandmother and give her a standing ovation, because there are none in this film. And while "all bad guys" can work, it most certainly doesn't here: the movie exists entirely to blow stuff up and show off sexy female skin, with nary a shred of soul or creativity behind any of it. Bruce was presumably paid handsomely for it, but it'd honestly have been preferable had he skipped it and made another blues album instead.

So much has been said about Adam Sandler's Netflix debut, it's almost a non-shocker to hear that among the 34 reviews collected by Rotten Tomatoes, The Ridiculous 6 couldn't even manage a single decent one. What may be surprising is that, once you get past Sandler and his band of merry men (one of whom, naturally, is Rob Schneider), you'll find actual acting talent in the bunch.

Steve Buscemi, of Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Fargo, and The Sopranos, makes a cameo appearance in Ridiculous 6 as a barber/dentist/doctor/veterinarian named Doc Griffin. We'd say his scene is the funniest part of the film, but that's like saying the best part of a root canal is seeing your best friend in the waiting room. Buscemi's filmography is chock-full of uncredited cameos in Sandler flicks. He probably should've done the same this time around.

If you're Keanu Reeves, and half your reputation is built on acting like a Generation X slacker who exclaims "whoa" at everything even halfway gnarly, why would you ever agree to a film with a title like Generation Um...? That's just a bogus career move.

2013's Um... doesn't appear to have much of a plot. Reeves is an NYC drifter, going nowhere in life. He somehow winds up bringing two party girls home on his birthday. He steals a camcorder, and then he films them doing and saying stuff. They mostly gab about life, the universe, and everything, only Keanu is Marvin the Paranoid Android, and he's the star. If you like movies that are light on plot but heavy on dialogue, you...still probably won't like this film. Not only does it offer nothing but melancholy (one critic called it "a slapped-together sub-mumblecore exercise that at times suggests a feature-length expansion of 2010′s 'Sad Keanu' meme)," but it doesn't help Reeves' reputation much at all. He's a fine actor, but people who see him as a guy who just stares won't have their minds changed at all with Um.

Kevin Spacey's work in films like American Beauty and shows like House of Cards has made him a national treasure. But anyone who stumbled on his 2011 film Father of Invention didn't find a treasure as much as a giant Let's Make A Deal Zonk.

In Father, Spacey plays an inventor whose combination ab-crunch machine/remote control results in thousands of people maiming their fingers. Somehow, this results not in a massive lawsuit, but with Spacey spending eight years in a maximum security prison (a fate far more suitable for his Cards character once justice catches up with him). Once he's out, nobody wants anything to do with him, all his new ideas have already been done, and his own daughter only gives him 30 days to find a job or she's kicking him out of her house. 

Of course, he eventually figures himself out, wins over his daughter, and finally rebuilds his life. But worse than the predictability of the film's progression is how one-note all the characters are. As Reuters noted, everyone's a cruel stereotype, with their awfulness enough to somehow make you root for the sleazy huckster who cost countless people their digits. Ultimately, though, nobody rooted for anyone, and Spacey retreated to Netflix to remind us that, garbage film or not, he's still Kevin Spacey.

Why Jon Voight decided to sully his oeuvre with 2004's Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, we'll never know. Did he really need to pay his light bill that badly?

Geniuses 2 is the sequel to a film that's not mentioned in this article because it actually managed to score 2 percent on the Tomatometer. Vought plays an evildoer named Kane who keeps getting owned by a superhero baby named Kahuna. Kane tries to brainwash the world, but Kahuna stops him with the aid of some Baby Geniuses he turns into fellow baby superheroes. The Superbabies trick Kane into becoming a baby himself, and this saves the world. Even if the acting was great, a plot like this is automatic Zero Tomato fodder. But the acting actually isn't great (pretty much every critic agrees nobody involved appeared to care about their role, least of all Voight), and Superbabies would probably have a negative score if such a thing existed.

Voight must've loved the paycheck, because he kept returning for the sequels. Yes, despite Superbabies bombing massively, the studio made three ultra-low budget, supremely cheesy direct-to-DVD follow-ups, and Voight is in all of them. In one, they become detectives. In another, they visit Egypt. Finally, they go to space. Voight plays the bad guy throughout, only he's a different villain. The babies are geniuses, but their films' casting crew sure isn't.

We're always told that "there can be only one" Highlander, and it's a shame that rule doesn't apply to the franchise as well. That way, we wouldn't have had to deal with 1991's Highlander II: The Quickening, which is only notable in that it somehow didn't cause Sean Connery to retire from acting forever.

In Quickening, basically everything about the end of the first Highlander was reversed. Connery died, but now he's back because time travel. Connor MacLeod lost his immortality, but then he beat up some intergalactic goons and now he lives forever again. The steps taken to get back to the status quo are confusing enough, but then the rest of the movie somehow gets more incomprehensible. As one reviewer wonderfully put it, "[The movie doesn't] ask us to suspend disbelief; [it] asks us to pretend we've all had weed-whacker lobotomies." That doesn't sound fun, and neither does this movie. That's why, whenever people talk Highlander, they happily assume Connery's dead and MacLeod will eventually die. It's less painful that way.

Some movie premises just won't work, no matter what you do. 1988's Hot To Trot is one such film—it's a movie starring a talking horse and Bobcat Goldthwait, and you legitimately can't tell who's more annoying.

There's actually a plot to this movie, kind of. Goldthwait works in the family stock business with his evil stepfather. His late mother wills him Don, a horse who can talk, but apparently only to Goldthwait. Evil stepdad wants to buy out Goldthwait's share of the company, but Bobcat refuses. Finally, they enter a winner-take-all horse race, pitting Goldthwait's talking horse versus Evil Stepdad's entire stable of horses (this, naturally, includes a horse Don's got a thing for). Of course, Goldthwait is the jockey, despite having no jockey experience whatsoever. Also of course, he wins, because what's the point of a talking-horse movie if everyone watching leaves the theater with long faces?

For reasons known only to him, Burgess "The Penguin" Meredith agreed to appear in this film. You don't see him, however, because he's voicing a housefly. He's Goldthwait's father, see, reincarnated as a fly. Sad as that may be, it was probably less embarrassing for Meredith than actually appearing on camera.

In 1983, moviegoers were blessed with another Amityville movie, entitled Amityville: The Demon or Amityville 3D, whichever you prefer. Either way, it wound up being a terrible sequel that didn't stack up to the scariness of the original Amityville film at all.

It's a basic Amityville setup: people move into the house, bad stuff happens. In this case, the protagonist's daughter drowns, a demon burns a paranormal investigator's face and takes him back to Hell with it, and then the house starts throwing random stuff all over the place, otherwise known as a scene set up to fulfill the "3D" part of the movie's title. Unlike the first two, this film doesn't even pretend to be based on actual events—in fact, it's not even technically a sequel, thanks to a lawsuit filed by the inhabitants of the actual Amityville home. Not like it matters, since the movie was a bomb. (One critic complained it was "no longer a haunted house movie at all, but simply a collection of crummy shock scenes with absolutely no shock.")

About the only worthwhile part of the film is Meg Ryan. She doesn't have a big role—she plays Lisa, one of Susan's friends who play Ouija with her and then drag her drowned body from the ocean. She's still probably the best part of the film, though don't expect a particularly pretty autograph if you mention it to her.