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What We Learned From The 'Batman V Superman' Trailer

It was just over two minutes long, it barely featured either Batman or Superman... and yet, geeks worldwide wasted no time in forming all-caps opinions about every second of footage that was revealed. Whether you loved or hated the teaser trailer for Batman v Superman, here are 9 things that it revealed to us about the upcoming film.

Batman’s New Voice

While Christian Bale's chain-smoking Cookie Monster impression was certainly memorable, Ben Affleck's Batman seems to be, at least in one scene, electronically modified to reflect the familiar gruff tone. We don't know if Affleck's Batman will always be talking in the raspy timbre, but at least having a voice modulator in the suit makes a little more sense than Bale's three-movie-long grindcore metal band audition.

How The World Sees Superman After The Battle Of Metropolis

'Man Of Steel' ended before we got to see how the world reacted to Superman, something that Pa Kent wouldn't shut up about every time young Clark stubbed his toe. With such a huge build-up to Superman announcing himself, you'd think that the event in question would have a bit more screen time. Batman v Superman takes place a bit after the destruction of Metropolis. We're not sure how long, but one city had at least enough time to build a Superman statue and have someone deface it with the words 'FALSE GOD'. It's clear that Superman is viewed as a deific hero by some, and a threat by others. And that's where the trouble begins.

Batman Has Fancy New Armor

Comic buffs will instantly recognize Batman's glow-eyed armor as something that appeared in Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns comics, in a scene where Batman battles Superman. Comic Batman is known to have built contingency plans to take down any known superhero should they decide to "go rogue" and displease Batman's agenda, so it's not unrealistic that he'd do the same on film. Spoiler alert : comic Batman didn't beat Superman with this armor, but instead had a heart attack mid-battle while Superman subdued him.

'Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely.'

This voiceover almost certainly refers to Superman's role as a protector of humanity. But what goes wrong? Whose political agenda does he upset by saving or not saving something or someone? Comic Superman, while a steadfast hero to all of Earth's creatures, has occasionally found himself losing touch with the humanity that defines him, and once took a walking tour of America during his Grounded storyline. Yes, Virginia, even Superman can be corrupted.

'The Feeling Of Powerlessness Turns Good Men Cruel.'

Again spoken as a voiceover, the camera focuses on Bruce Wayne's face as he stares at his cape and cowl. We don't know why Batman and Superman fight, but this narration implies that Bruce sees Superman as a threat to humanity, or maybe just a threat to his position as a merely-human hero. With the arrival of many other superpowered people, including Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg, and The Flash, Batman is probably feeling more powerless than ever. And maybe that turns him into a bit of a tool.

Batman’s New Costume

Gone are the days of the angular, ill-fitting Bale-mask; now we have a mask that looks almost demonic. Both this and the broad Bat-logo on the costume's chest are once again references to Miller's The Dark Knight Returns. Add to this the fact that actress Jena Malone's role in the film is still top secret, but she could easily be a spitting image for Batman's female Robin, and the similarities between the comic and the film grow even stronger.

The Bat-Tank Is Back

Easily the dumbest thing that a hero trained in stealth could build, and the second dumbest thing you'd want to take into a crowded city like Gotham, Batman's gargantuan Batmobile makes a return. While it makes sense to bring a tank into a battle against Superman, it would be great to see a vehicle that wasn't absolutely absurd.

Joe & Kayla Are In Love

Seriously, they spraypainted it everywhere. We get it, Joe. You finally found "the one", but that's never a great reason to deface public property. Kayla gets around, anyhow.

Nerds Are Impatient

It's important to remember that this is just a two-minute teaser trailer; it's designed to get you talking, whether you love it or hate it. Declarations of how aroused you've become, or how much black, unyielding hate has filled your every pore are highly premature. Trailers exist to titillate and mislead. There's no reason to complain yet. Just sit back and try to stay busy until 2016. Comics are a great way to pass the time.