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Fifty Shades Darker Gets An Honest Trailer

The honest trailer for Fifty Shades Darker is here to remind you how decidedly un-sexy the movie really is. The trailer, starring "future murder victim" Anastasia Steele and "walking red flag" Christian Grey, takes you through the funnier plot points of the sequel, which decides to "scale back the bondage and amp up the normal couple stuff."

"From FanFiction.net user Snowqueens Icedragon, and the screenwriter who married FanFiction.net user Snowqueens Icedragon," the trailer begins, making fun of the novel's Twilight fan fiction origins, "comes another horrifying reminder that your aunt probably gets off to this: Fifty Shades Darker." The trailer then goes on to comment on the movie's awkward sex scenes, while also commenting on its inability to improve on the first film's lack of chemistry problems. "You marveled at the first movie's total lack of sex appeal," the trailer says. "Now the steamiest story you can buy at Target is back, and it's cranking the naughty down from room temp to ice cold."

The trailer rips both Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) and Christian (Jamie Dornan). "Watch as she spends an entire movie attempting in vain to show human emotion," the trailer says, poking fun at the utter blandness of the movie's Anastasia. Christian gets hit even harder, with the trailer saying, "If you thought Christian Grey was a creep before, you ain't seen nothin' yet." It then points out quite a few of the creepy things that Christian does throughout the movie, including stealing Ana's bank account information, buying the company she works for against her wishes, and having a framed Chronicles of Riddick poster in his bedroom. "The only thing less sexy than these sex scenes is how much these two seem like they actually hate each other in real life," the trailer says.

The trailer ends on a parody of Beyonce's slowed down "Crazy in Love" Fifty Shades remix, with the song now crooning, "This movie's written so lazy right now, the book that was based on so lazy right now. I wish somebody would tase me right now, this story's bout as sexy as rabies right now."

Fifty Shades' awkward sex scenes aren't the only time a love scene has gone wrong on camera; see some of the other most awkward love scenes in movies.