Hilarious And Cringe-Worthy Scenes From Star Wars
The original Star Wars trilogy, as it was originally released, has stood the test of time as a fantastic set of movies. The story isn't vastly complex or Oscar-fodder, it's just a great, entertaining film series. Then came the prequels. We all paid to see them, then felt like we wanted our money back. But we've come to accept them for what they are: movies that George Lucas made incorrectly. And now with a new trilogy on the way, we're all hoping against hope that they stay true to the originals and avoid all these cringe-worthy and unintentionally hilarious scenes Lucas managed to sneak into the others.
Too Much Sand
It's extremely difficult to pick just one example of the terrible dialogue involved in the forced romance between Padme and Anakin from the prequel trilogy. At no time is their love ever believable. At no time does Hayden Christensen ever emote on a remotely human scale or give Padme's character any reason not to be creeped out by him, let alone love him. But if you had to pick one line, this line is it. In what could be the worst flirtation ever, Anakin explains how he hates sand because it gets everywhere—basically saying his planet sucks because of sand crotch, while Padme's planet is great because it's soft and smooth just like her. Nice one, Shakespeare.
Noo!
Darth Vader is, without a doubt, one of the greatest characters in film history. His look, his sound, everything is masterful. Or it was, anyway. Fans were even willing to endure the Anakin-years as we tried to wrap our heads around Pre-teen Vader and then Emo Vader. But in Episode III, a patchwork, burn-victim Franken-Skywalker finally becomes Vader. Towards the film's end, we get to see him in the legendary black suit for the first time, and then...no? He screams "noooo!" like the heartbroken hero of a poorly written high school play. The only thing more trite would have been him hugging Padme and screaming "don't you die on me!" as he attempted lazy chest compressions.
Anakin Slaughters Kids
Less hilarious but definitely cringe-worthy is Anakin's decision once he's "realized" that the Jedi aren't for him. The logical conclusion to this train of thought? He murders all the toddlers the Jedi have. Because they're the real evil in the galaxy, you see. It'd be one thing if Anakin felt he was evil himself and wanted to be evil, but his character is never presented that way. He's presented as someone who realizes the Jedi are bad, that he's doing the right thing by leaving them and...yeah, just murder those children, Anakin. That's logical. It's awkward to watch, not because of the gravitas or the seriousness of the situation. But because it just makes no sense.
Midichlorians
The moment little Anakin asks what midichlorians are is just so damn awkward you'd be forgiven for facepalming and pausing the movie for a moment to get your bearings. In three solid films, the Force is presented as the mystical, religious power behind all of existence. It has a Light and a Dark side, it's the balance of life and it doesn't need an explanation because it's metaphysical. The filmmakers drive it into your head repeatedly in the original trilogy that the the Force is the mystical power the Jedi Order believed in that the rest of the universe didn't understand or even know about. Suddenly in the prequels, the Force isn't mystical, it's scientific. It's little dudes in your cells that are all juiced up on Force power and the more you have, the more awesome a Jedi you get to be. It's like Dragonball Z power levels suddenly apply—and Anakin is over 9,000!
Flying R2
It's Episode II, and we're in a giant, CGI droid factory with C-3PO and R2-D2. C-3PO falls out of this door to nowhere and right behind him is R2—who suddenly produces little rocket boosters and flies through the factory. What? When the heck did that happen? There are literally dozens of times in every other film when R2 could have made use of the ability to fly if he had it. Which he doesn't. That detail appearing in that scene is just preposterous in every way. It kicks the original trilogy right in the droid nuts. Why doesn't R2 fly when he and Luke crash into Dagobah? Why doesn't R2 fly every single time the gang is running from the Empire, and he's way behind everyone else because he chooses to use his tiny wheels?
Racial Stereotypes
This could be a whole study on its own, but suffice it to say, the prequels have an issue with racial stereotypes present in their alien races. Some people have tried really, really hard over the years to pretend like maybe it wasn't the case, but one simply has to look at the Trade Federation aliens for about a solid minute to realize they are definitely based on Asian stereotypes. Their clothes are Asian inspired, their accents, their facial features—everything about them is painfully obvious. That makes each additional stereotypical incident of racial stereotypes and caricatures seem less and less accidental as The Phantom Menace goes on.
Many critics have pointed out that Jar Jar Binks and the rest of the Gungans really had awful "blackface" and "minstrel" vibes that were hard to ignore. Watto is a greedy merchant who literally wears a little space-yarmulke and speaks with a Middle Eastern accent behind his hooked snout. He also sells slaves. If these details aren't the results of intentional decisions, it's a remarkable number of unfortunate coincidences in a row. It's kind of amazing George Lucas can still show his face in public after that. Every moment these characters are on-screen is pretty uncomfortable to watch.
Joh Yowza
In the original trilogy, the Max Rebo band rocks out in Jabba's palace. Sure, it's a little goofy, but the original trilogy had the perfect amount of goofiness to make the movies charming. This clearly irked George Lucas as he went back to make the Special Editions of the original trilogy, which included ruining the Max Rebo band by giving them a new CGI lead singer named Joh Yowza.
It appears that Yowza is a little CGI Bigfoot who yells a lot, and his new song is called "Jedi Rocks," because of course it is. The original song is short and sweet and plays in the background to demonstrate the kind of crazy, party atmosphere at Jabba's palace. The Special Edition version makes it seem like Jabba's palace is the worst club in the galaxy.
Nooo! #2
Across six Star Wars films, there's no bigger slap in the face, no bigger unintentional, cringe-inducing laugh than the scene from the 2011 Blu-ray release of the original trilogy. It's the climactic scene of Return of the Jedi when Vader redeems himself and saves his son from the Emperor by picking that wrinkled old space turd up by his undies and throwing him in a conveniently located hole in the middle of the room. Remember that scene? Epic. Unless you saw the Blu-Ray.
In the Blu-Ray, and what might be George Lucas's final middle finger to fans before Disney took over, they dubbed in another tragic "noooo!" from Vader. You can't watch it without shaking your head. Vader, behind the mask, unable to show emotion, still somehow seems conflicted as he looks from the Emperor to his son. We all understand what's happening as that scene unfolds. And we all feel that thrill as he silently grabs the Emperor and ends him. But now, in this edition, he just screams "noooooo!' like some kind of wild maniac who can't think of a clever one-liner.