Star Wars Characters Who Could Be Related

For the last several months, fans have been coming up with some pretty crazy theories about which new Star Wars: The Force Awakens characters might be related to classic Star Wars characters. But you know what's really crazy? Darth Vader is Luke's father! And Luke and Leia are twins! Sure, it seems normal now, but that was some nutso stuff back in the day. So here's a look at some other Star Wars characters you never knew could be related. Because compared to Luke and Leia, nothing seems crazy anymore.

The most popular fan theory about the new Star Wars heroine is also the one that's most likely to be correct. We know that as a child, Rey is abandoned by her parents on a remote planet for mysterious reasons, which is exactly what happens to Luke to protect him from Vader. And we know that Han is heading "home," and that he ends up taking Rey under his wing. It sure seems to say that Rey is actually Han and Leia's daughter. Unless...

Think about what we know of Lando. He's a charming, smooth as silk ladies' man. He also has a friendly—and occasionally not-so-friendly—rivalry with Han. So it's perfectly in-character for Lando to make a play for Leia, both because she's hot, and because he wants a little revenge for losing his own true love, the Millennium Falcon. And for Leia? Well, she works closely with Lando during those long months between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. She probably needed a shoulder to cry on, especially since Han doesn't even bother returning her "I love you." If she found solace in Lando's willing arms, she could very well be pregnant during the Battle of Endor and not even have known it yet. Hmm.

Okay, first, this is totally gross. You don't need to tell us that. But that doesn't mean it's impossible. There's been a lot of speculation that Kylo might be Rey's sister, or that he might be Leia and Han's son. But why would he turn to the dark side in that case? Well, maybe because he was actually born out of something truly dark: twincest (sorry). Remember that kiss Leia plants on Luke in Empire Strikes Back? He seems to enjoy it just fine, and remember, neither of them have any idea at the time that they're related. If Luke and Leia hook up between Empire and Return of the Jedi, Kylo could be the disturbing result. Now, to make this one work, let's just ignore the fact that Star Wars is a Disney intellectual property designed to sell toys. Moving on.

One of the biggest mysteries in the Star Wars universe is just who exactly Anakin Skywalker's father is. The story goes that Anakin is actually the result of a virgin birth, just like Jesus. Okay, sure. More likely? There's totally a dude involved. And if that's the case, the number one suspect just has to be Emperor Palpatine. It would explain not only why Anakin is so strong in the force, but also why the Emperor is so interested in Anakin—and Luke—to begin with. We think those Skywalker daddy issues go all the way to the top.

Check out that dope blue lightsaber Finn is using in his fight against Kylo Ren. The only bad thing about it? It's not purple, which would be more fitting, since Finn is totally Mace Windu's grandson. Sure, Windu supposedly dies falling out a window, but read that again and you'll start to think it sounds pretty ridiculous. What if, like Yoda, Mace actually survives and goes into hiding? It might explain why Disney has been very, very careful not to reveal what Finn's last name is.

Okay, so this is pretty vague, but we're betting that X-Wing pilot Poe Dameron is related to, you know, somebody. We can't get any more specific, though, because the somebody he's related to hasn't yet been named herself! Yes, it's the lead character of the upcoming standalone spinoff Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, which tells the tale of a band of intrepid X-Wing pilots who risk their lives to steal the plans of the original Death Star in the days between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope. The leader of that group is woman played by actress Felicity Jones. We're betting she passes her X-Wing skills down to her son... Poe. It just makes good marketing tie-in sense.

We know that the stormtroopers are originally all clones of the legendary bounty hunter Jango Fett. And we know that Kylo Ren is the leader of a new generation of epic-level stormtroopers. Plus, there's the fact that Boba Fett is one of the most popular cult characters in film history, with his own solo film in development, so there's pretty much no chance that Disney will leave him out of The Force Awakens. And what's the most unexpected way to include him? Why, by revealing that the film's villain, Kylo Ren, is a clone of Boba Fett! After all, making Fett a central part of the Star Wars storyline would make everyone happy—especially the people selling action figures.

Who is really the main character of the Star Wars universe? Think about it. Yep. Not only is C-3PO one of the only characters who appears in all seven Star Wars films (along with his sidekick R2-D2), but his origin story is probably the most ridiculous of all. Does anyone really believe an eight-year-old Anakin actually built C-3PO? That's stupid. So what is his real story? How about this: "C-3PO" is just a robotic shell animated by the spirit of a dead Sith Lord, kind of like a lich, or Voldemort with those Horcruxes. He uses his Midi-chlorians to impregnate the slave Shmi Skywalker, covertly steers Anakin to the Dark Side, and has been secretly pulling the strings right under everyone's noses all along as the ultimate villain of the Star Wars universe. Mind. Blown.