Why Kylo Ren Probably Isn't Luke Skywalker

There's obviously been a lot of secrecy surrounding Star Wars: The Force Awakens, which has led to some wild speculation. The worst is the smear campaign that's been launched against Luke Skywalker. For whatever reason, he hasn't appeared in any of the trailers or posters, but we all know that Mark Hamill filmed scenes for the movie. People have started spreading the rumor that Luke is actually under the mask of the mysterious new villain, Kylo Ren. That's crazy talk and the worst kind of mudslinging. Luke is a hero of the Alliance and doesn't deserve this disrespect! Here are all the reasons why Kylo Ren isn't Luke Skywalker, and why those rumors aren't much better than bantha fodder.

In the beginning of Return of the Jedi, Luke wears all black and does the whole "maybe I'll go to the Dark Side" thing. He shows up and acts moody and vaguely threatening. He even tries to trade R2D2 and C3PO to Jabba the Hutt, without even telling them first. That's a real Sith move on Luke's part. But that's his character arc, and it's resolved with him choosing the Light Side of the Force. Who contemplates going evil, decides against it, and then later on turns evil anyway? If Luke is Kylo Ren, then it isn't all that intimidating because that just makes him a flip flopper. No one would have to defeat Ren. They'd just have to wait for him to change his mind again.

It's been heavily implied that Kylo Ren somehow gets his hands on Darth Vader's melty, mangled helmet, and likes to spend time talking to it. While it's odd that he even has the helmet, let alone have conversations with it, it also kind of proves that he isn't Luke. Right before the end, Luke got to know Anakin, the guy underneath the mask. If he was trying to honor his father's legacy, then he wouldn't care about the hood. For everyone else in the galaxy, that's the face of Vader. For Luke, it's just a thing that his dad wore. That would be like honoring your father's memory by talking to his socks (specifically his evil socks). Also, Luke is the one that set it on fire in the first place. People usually don't do that to things they plan on keeping around. It's questionable that Kylo Ren would even be able to find the helmet, but that makes more sense than Luke burning it and then being like, "You know what? I think I'll hold onto this thing."

Remember at the end of Return of the Jedi when everyone's partying, and Luke looks over and Yoda, Obi Wan, and Anakin are floating around as ghosts, watching Luke? That's Luke's life from that point forward. There are all these dead old men just hanging out, checking in on him from time to time. It's unclear if force ghosts can affect the real world, but they can definitely talk. There's no way Luke would be able to turn to the Dark Side without Yoda yapping in his ear the whole time. That's something Darth Vader never has to deal with. Imagine how annoying that would be? Even if Luke went to the Dark Side, he'd never act on it because Obi Wan would give him speeches all the time. The worst part is that they're ghosts, so short of getting a proton pack, there's nothing Luke can do to them.

Star Wars characters have always had weird names. It makes sense; the movies take place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. There's not going to be a bunch of people named Fred and Joey running around. Still, "Kylo Ren" is an especially silly name, isn't it? If Luke was going to create a fake persona to hide his Dark Side actions, why would he pick such a silly name? Also, it should be "Darth Something," right? Wouldn't Luke want to match up with Darth Vader, Darth Maul, and Darth Sidious? There's no way Luke would come up with "Kylo Ren." Luke's well aware of the tradition of Sith Lords having badass names. If it really is him under that mask, his name would be "Darth I-Blew-Up-The-Friggin-Death-Star" or something along those lines.

Kylo Ren is being set up as the main villain of the new series. That's awesome, but not if he's being played by an old man. Mark Hamill is in his 60s—he's no spring chicken. He'll be close to 70 by the time the new trilogy comes to an end. Kylo Ren looks like he's going to be a pretty physically active villain. He's running around, getting into lightsaber duels, and swinging his arms super dramatically. That's not how old people act. If Luke was Kylo Ren, then he'd be taking his time getting everywhere. He might be evil, but he'd also have an early bedtime. Obi Wan and Yoda were Jedi masters, but they still became old men. Time is the one thing that Jedi cannot control. Kylo Ren seems like a terrifying warrior, not a cranky old man.

Did you know that Mark Hamill did the voice for the Joker on Batman: The Animated Series? Of course you did; it's super well-known. Hamill's done a bunch of voice work over the years, and he's really good at it. So, if he was playing Kylo Ren, then why does Ren have such a stupid sounding voice? When we finally hear him speak in the final Force Awakens trailer, he sounds like an angry cartoon robot. Compare that to the Joker. There's no way both of those voices come out of the same person. So they either hired actor Adam Driver to dub in lines on top of one the greatest voice actors ever, or K-Ren just isn't Luke Skywalker. That'd be like hiring Michael Jordan to star in a basketball movie, and then hiring a stuntman to perform all of the basketball scenes.