This Movie President Would Make The Worst President In Real Life
Every four to eight years, a ghostly refrain of "worst president in US history" echoes through the conch shell of American discourse. Somehow, flying in the face of statistical probability, each occupant of the oval office is, to the eyes of about half of their citizens, the most vile thing to happen to democracy since George Washington got dibs on the executive branch in a game of roshambo.
Still, with all of our differences, the AMerican people are united by our ability to come together, dunk on movie characters, and feel better about ourselves for it. It was with this noble truth in mind that Looper went forth to the constituents and, in the pursuit of forming a more perfect union, asked voters from across the aisle an important question: "Which movie president would make the worst president in real life?" With 536 responses from across these United States, a frontrunner made his presence known with just shy of 24% of the vote — an absolute landslide, once you factor in redistricting.
Cliff Robertson takes the Worst President cake
Coming in first place with 23.88% of the final count was the president identified vaguely, if succinctly, only as "The President" in John Carpenter's 1996 masterpiece "Escape from L.A." Played by Cliff Robertson half a decade before he taught Peter Parker the importance of a great power to responsibility ratio, The President took a dim view of things like liquor, steaks, and premarital what have yous, condemning anyone that partook in these great American pastimes to a long term stay on an island full of apocalyptic shenanigans. It's actually a little bit upsetting that he only got a quarter of the vote, but hey, the electorate is a mystery.
Taking silver in the Worst Possible President competition was Billy Bob Thorton's character from "Love Actually," less than helpfully also named "The President." Did he try to imprison his people on a nightmare island? Not in any way explored by the script, but he didn't treat Martine McCutcheon's personal space with respect, and that gave Hugh Grant sad eyes. That earns 21.64% of the vote if anything does.
Put some respect on President Whitmore's name
Bizarrely, President Whitmore (Bill Pullman) from "Independence Day" was singled out by 19% of respondents, which doesn't make a lick of sense. How many real presidents would have the fortitude to encourage Randy Quaid to explode? Practically none, that's how many. To our eyes, the man's a hero, but maybe he had an unfavorable tax plan or something that we're not aware of. Plus, Kevin Kline's President Dave Kovic came in fourth with just shy of 16%, and he balanced the budget in like, an afternoon. His only crime was technically being an imposter, carried into office by a surreptitious lie without a single electoral vote to his name. Nobody's perfect.
Only 11% of the vote went to President Marshall from "Air Force One," which is reasonable — Harrison Ford pretty much has the job down as far as we're concerned. Nobody else brings the stern, aggressive finger pointing quite like him, and that seems like an important job skill to have nailed down. In last place: President Tom Beck of "Deep Impact," played by Morgan Freeman. Fair enough. The guy had enough gravitas and American spirit to try and bomb space into submission. That's a president you could grab a beer with.