The Real Reason Mario And Peach Will Never Work As A Couple
Super Mario has been a household name for over three decades now. When a series is around that long, fans get to know a lot about the lore and other related details. As you grow into adulthood, you begin to question some of those details. With that said, there are plenty of things that seem set in stone, such as the idea that Mario and Princess Peach are a couple. However, when you really examine the strange nature of their relationship, it starts to become abundantly clear that whatever they have is most likely platonic.
With this in mind, could an energetic Italian plumber and the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom truly make a romantic partnership work? Is there any chemistry there? Would they get married? What would their kids be like? Where would Luigi live and how would he support himself after Mario inevitably kicked him out?
Perhaps it would be best if Mario and Peach simply remained friends. Here is the real reason why they would never work as a couple.
Completely different worlds, completely different species
Forget the fact that Mario has a sordid love history or that Princess Peach might have had a kid with Bower. Mario and Peach aren't actually part of the same species.
You heard that right. While they may both look human, Mario is anything but. In fact, they really don't look like they are part of the same humanoid class.
According to an official Nintendo character guide (courtesy of Console Wars author Blake Harris), Mario belongs to the "Homo Nintendonus" family. From this critical piece of information, it becomes clear that their differences go beyond the surface. It just may be that the two have nothing in common aside from the archetypal "damsel-in-distress" roles.
If they both existed in the Star Trek universe, such a coupling would be no problem, but it's unclear what kind of laws there are in the Mushroom Kingdom. And of course, if that whole Bowser Jr. theory is true, then Mario and Peach may have bigger issues to sort out.