Creative Ways Games Punish Pirates

Many gamers may not be familiar with the 1987 Spanish language game La Abadia Del Crimen, but that doesn't mean its developers skimped on the anti-piracy measures. In fact, game developer Paco Menendez went the extra mile to make sure any potential pirates would be scared off of the practice forever. His terrifying easter egg for pirates is nothing short of nightmare-fuel.

If you manage to get your hands on a pirated copy of La Abadia Del Crimen, things will seem normal at first. The game will let you play through a portion of the game with no problems. You may even think you've gotten away with your crime. That couldn't be further from the truth.

Eventually, in one room in the abbey, gamers will hear the word "Pirata" repeated over and over again. This is the Spanish word for pirate. The word itself would be enough to make any pirate nervous, but the fact that the word is repeated in an increasingly slow and ominous tone only makes it that much more horrific. Eventually, once the developer feels you've suffered enough, your game will crash and you'll lose all of your progress.

Fans of the Far Cry series were anxious to get their hands on Far Cry 4. Some of these fans, however, were a bit too impatient to wait for the actual release date. Resorting to piracy to obtain their copy of the game would prove to be a grave mistake if they hoped for normal gameplay.

In the normal version of Far Cry 4, an option is given to adjust the FOV (field of view) so that action sequences on a vehicle don't make you lose your lunch. In the pirated copy, however, that option doesn't exist. This means that gamers who play an illegal copy of the game would find their screen almost impossible to decipher any time they got on a vehicle. The environment would suddenly speed up into a blur that made it impossible to navigate successfully.

When pirates complained about this feature, developers responded that they had a patch in place for the release date to fix this bug, effectively calling out the pirates for getting a copy early.

The Sims franchise has never shied away from the sillier side of things. The made up Simlish language alone can attest to this fact. So it stands to reason that the anti-piracy measures set in place by the developers over at EA Games would be just as silly, if not slightly frustrating. Of course, if you didn't want a frustrating gameplay experience, you probably shouldn't have pirated the game in the first place.

Pirated versions of The Sims 4 included a clever way to keep pirates from getting the full experience from their illegal copy of the game. When a character in The Sims uses the restroom or takes a shower, the screen will automatically pixelate them to maintain their virtual privacy This is true of all Sims games. In a pirated version of The Sims 4, however, this pixelation won't go away once your Sim is done doing their business. Instead, the pixelation will slowly grow until it covers the entire screen, making the game completely unplayable.

Players who took to the internet to complain about the "bug" would also be promptly outed as pirates, which is just the icing on the cake.

The 2014 puzzle game The Talos Principle is an indie hit that continues to gain popularity long after its release. With environments that combine ruins, natural greenery, and futuristic machinery, it's a unique experience. As gorgeous and immersive as it is, though, the game isn't scared to let pirates know exactly what it thinks of them. This is thanks to the developers, who wanted to discourage any illegal dowloads.

Players who use less-than-virtuous methods to obtain their copy of The Talos Principle will find their gameplay experience is somewhat lacking. In the game, there's an elevator that takes players between hub stops and thus allows you to progress to different areas. In the pirated version, however, players will find that the elevator stops mid-trip and traps them inside, effectively preventing them from progressing in the game.

In addition to this little snag, pieces of dialogue and most of the subtitles are also missing from the game. Long story short, it's better if you just buy the game instead of pirating it.

The real-time strategy game Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2 was released in 2000 as a follow up and conclusion to the first game in the series. This game, like many other real-time strategy games in the genre, focused on a player's ability to manage a military force, ration resources, and plan attacks. This means it was of the utmost importance that players had the resources necessary to defeat their enemies. This became difficult with one particular anti-piracy measure that was put into place.

About thirty seconds after starting up their pirated copy of the game, a massive explosion would destroy every resource the player had, making it impossible to progress any further. Unaware that what they were experiencing was an anti-piracy mechanic and not a glitch, many players took to the internet to complain about troubles they were having with Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2. Many online have accurately pointed out that it would have been more punishing to let these players get further into the game before blowing up their resources, but we have to admit: the early detonation was satisfying to watch.

It should be pretty obvious that a game revolving around parkour and mantling would require a certain level of speed and agility on the part of the main character. So what happens when you take away the player's ability to run? A game that's impossible to progress through.

The 2008 title Mirror's Edge centers itself around jumping between high buildings, scaling walls, and finding the most creative ways to get between two points. The main character Faith is impossibly agile, making the experience that much more enjoyable as she performs stunts us mere mortals wouldn't dream of. If, however, you decided to get your copy of Mirror's Edge illegally, you'd find that the experience wasn't quite as satisfying.

About halfway through the tutorial of a pirated copy of the game, players found that Faith would suddenly become sluggish. Instead of bolting up to the sheer drop offs, she would instead slow to a stop. If you attempted to jump from one building to another, you'd simply fall off the edge to your death. Not quite as fun as soaring majestically through the air like you would in the legitimate copy.

The 1995 release of Nintendo's Earthbound was seen as something of an unsuccessful endeavor originally. However, years later, this title is still viewed as a beloved cult classic that has stood the test of time. Playing as Ness, you're tasked with saving the world from the alien force Giygas. Of course, if you decide to save the world dishonestly with a stolen copy of the game, the developers will tortue you with a number of creative anti-piracy measures.

When you first begin playing a pirated copy of Earthbound, things don't seem so bad. You'll get a few simple messages about how pirating is wrong and how the game should not be compatible with your system. It doesn't stop there. Earthbound will spawn far more enemies in a pirated copy than it does in a normal copy of the game. These enemies will also be harder to beat. If you manage to get to the end of the game against these impossible odds, you'll be met with the cruelest bit of anti-piracy programming ever. The boss fight against Giygas will freeze, your system will reset, and all of your save files will be erased.

Still think pirating is worth it?