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Why You Wouldn't Survive Life In Minecraft

Minecraft might be one of the most chill games in its genre, but make no mistake: it is still a game about survival. In this blocky world, you're expected to weather the elements, search out sustenance, placate the locals, and do battle with some rather fearsome foes. But hey, it's Minecraft, how hard could it be? A whole lot harder than you would think. 

Despite the peaceful music, picturesque forests, and fuzzy farm animals, it's unlikely the average gamer would be able to eke out a living in this surprisingly unforgiving landscape. Here's why you wouldn't survive life in Minecraft.

Punching trees and other resource-related issues

Have you ever punched a tree? For the sake of your own knuckles, please don't try it. Just trust that it is a painful, unproductive experience. In Minecraft, players start out totally toolless but must still gather the wood needed for basic crafting. The only way to obtain this resource is by ... yes, punching trees. While this works like a charm for Minecraft sprites, it's unlikely to work for the average gamer. Even if you could Hulk out and smash some trees, how do you build a pickaxe? An axe? Or a sword for that matter? 

Minecraft characters come pre-loaded with the knowledge needed to build the supplies necessary for survival. Can you confidently say you'd know how to assemble a comfortable, usable bed from wild-gathered resources? Do you know how to spin wool into yarn? Knit it into a mattress? Didn't think so. The game totally discounts the time, skill, and effort needed to craft. You'd need years of survival and crafting experience just to get started in the world of Minecraft.

Salty water, thirsty players

Depending on the map, there might be a lot of water in your Minecraft world. That said, most of it is salty, salty ocean water. Even in the most hardcore of survival modes, Minecraft totally discounts the fact humans need large amounts of clean water to survive. Finding food might be as easy as smacking an unsuspecting chicken, but how do you purify water in Minecraft? You can't just drink out of random streams — who knows what kind of blocky bacteria might be in there?

Fresh water is priority number one in most survival situations. Minecraft does not give its players any tools, other than maybe the bucket, to convey and clean this precious resource. If you were to follow the Minecraft school of survival, you would find yourself dead or dying of dehydration surprisingly fast.

Kill or be killed

Smacking an unsuspecting chicken into submission might sound easy — but is it really? Even when dealing with the most docile of creatures in Minecraft, players underestimate the animal's will to live and overestimate their ability to get the job done. Cows are huge and — despite popular belief — can be aggressive. All that weight thrown around can result in some serious trampling. Pigs and sheep are also surprisingly speedy, and are unlikely to forgive a few smacks with a ramshackle wooden sword.

Basically, the idea of "hunting" in Minecraft is unrealistic. The enemies you're up against are also better equipped for killing. Watching a single episode of The Walking Dead will give you an idea as to how you might fare against zombies knocking at your door. Don't forget about all those spiders, skeletons, and creepers too. 

Unless you're a fast, accurate assassin the likes of which has never been seen before ... the world of Minecraft is going to be a tough place to survive in. The average gamer, indeed, the average survivalist, might not have what it takes to make it out of Minecraft alive.