Deadpool! That guy sure does go crazy with the jokes and the shooting and the references to private parts and whatnot. While there's a new laugh to be had just about every 30 seconds in Deadpool, some zingers and moments stand out among the others. Mostly because they're really, really gross. Here are some of the most horribly hilarious gags, which also made you gag, from Deadpool. Mild spoilers to follow…
Early in the film, Deadpool goes up against a whole bunch of bad guys on a freeway. He kills them all, but not before he gets shot in a particularly sensitive spot: his butt. It's not clear where exactly on his posterior he takes the bullet, but it's safe to assume that his healing factor is probably working overtime afterwards.
When you have a super healing powers and the ability to regrow lost limbs, you can get creative in the ways you escape from sticky situations. That's what happens when Colossus handcuffs himself to Deadpool in order to take him back to the X-Men mansion. The merc then proceeds to saw his arm out of the cuffs, spraying Colossus with blood in the process, and leaving his severed hand flipping the X-Man the bird.
When Deadpool, as Wade Wilson, asks his lady love Vanessa for her hand in marriage, he does so just as she has a proposal of her own. It involves the two of them engaging intimate relations in unconventional and nontraditional ways. We'll leave it at that.
There are a few instances where we get a glimpse of—ahem—private time in Deadpool's bedroom. But it's when we see that his hand is slowly growing back, and looks more like a hand that would belong to an infant, that the prelude to Deadpool's party for one becomes truly amazing (and disgusting).
We don't get to spend much time with Deadpool's roommate, Blind Al. But we do know two things about her in the movie: she's blind (hence the name) and she's a former cocaine addict. As Deadpool leaves her to face the villain Ajax once and for all, he has special parting words for her: "There's 116 kilos of cocaine buried somewhere in the apartment, right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck."
By the end of the movie, Deadpool has Ajax pinned and bloodied, with a gun pointed at his head. He's about to pull the trigger and end his enemy…when Colossus shows up and starts moralizing on what it is to be a hero. Colossus wants Deadpool to embrace the ideals of goodness and mercy. But mid-speech, Deadpool does what Deadpool does best—he pulls the trigger and splatters his target's brains on the asphalt. While we all saw that coming, we couldn't predict what happens next: Colossus loses his lunch all over himself. Tasteful!
It's a throwaway line, but at one point Deadpool tells his pals Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead that Beast really ought to stop using his lawn as a bathroom. Gotta admit, that's a pretty reasonable request on his part.
Not too many movies starring Marvel Comics characters have scenes that take place in strip clubs. Even fewer of them (like, say, one) feature Stan Lee as a DJ in said strip club. His line in that scene? "You can't buy love, but you can rent it for three minutes!" They don't call him Stan "The Man" Lee for nothing. Well, they mostly call him that because "Stan" rhymes with "man," but you know what we're getting at.
